WRT 102 has come to an end and I must say that it was a challenging experience. Some of my peers have taken the course in the fall semester, so I somewhat knew what to expect. However, everyone experienced everything differently. At the beginning of the course, I was feeling pretty good about the course. This semester was a chance for me to learn to be a well-rounded student so my plans for this course was to begin my essays a week before so that I would have time to tailor it as much as I could. Another goal of mine was to become a better writer because I have always struggled when it came to essays because I don’t like writing essays as much. Some of these goals I did accomplish. For my rhetorical analysis, I had time to make my rhetorical analysis so that I would have time to go to office hours and get immediate feedback. Even if I didn’t have an entire draft, I made sure that I had something to take to office hours and receive feedback. I guess that I did become a better writer. I was looking back at some of the essays that I used to write in high school and I compared them to the ones that I write now and I see so much improvement. I used to ask myself all the time “how can someone write more than three pages on an essay?” And now I know. I know that the writing is not much of quantity if so quality but still, one must have a lot of ideas in order to extend their topic.
The part where I found that I struggled the most was organizing the structure of my essay. For example in the rhetorical analysis, I wanted to analyze why Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi commercial was so controversial, my ideas were in an order that didnt make so much sense. Once I went to office hours, I realized that If I altered the order, my essay would make more sense. The organization and the structure of an essay are very important because it impacts the ways that the author’s ideas flow and that is something that although I struggled with, I learned. The research paper was very difficult for me, maybe because it was a topic very close to my heart. I had difficulty finding information and writing it. I didn’t know what form I could write my essay and I had difficulty trying to get my point across.
Overall I learned a lot t about myself as a writer and as a person in this course. I also learned to be a better student. Going to office hours saved me so much in this course because I know that I would not be able to do it alone. The hours were so helpful and the feedback as well. In the future, I will use some of the organizational skills that I learned whenever I decide to free write.
For this blog post, I will explain the changes that I made to my writing e-portfolio.
I made some changed to the about me page: Instead of the 5 point facts about me that we did in the workshop, I changed the facts into paragraph format. I changed it to this format because I felt that it would be more engaging and personal while still being a little professional. I just feel like if I mentioned the 5 points I sounded more like a robot rather than a person. also these people will read so many I wanted it to stand out somewhat.
When we were in the workshop I had not started to write the research paper so for thechange that we were asked to make for one of the papers, I changed the link to the paper to the draft that I am writing right now for my research paper.
In the future, before the deadline, I hope to make hanged to all of my papers with the comments that the professor wrote on my papers. I also hope to spice up the overall look of the portfolio, although I know what it is the least important part, I want to personalize my page as much as possible after I fix my writing. my goal for the portfolio is for the reader to feel a sense of my personality when they see my e-portfolio and when they hear the voice in my papers.
Dear Writer,
I recently read your paper entitled: “Society and Body Images”. When I read the title I was compelled to read it because it is a topic very close to my heart.
I thought that you did well in clearly stating what your topic was and you consistently supported one argument throughout your entire paper. The tone and language of the paper were professional yet understandable and easy to follow. I feel like you did a great job in keeping your audience in mind. In structural-wise I think that you structured your essay in an organized manner.
While there were so many things that I enjoyed about your paper, there were somethings in which I believe that you could work on to make your paper a tad bit better. The title of your paper attracted me to read it but I think it could be a little more attention-grabbing. I your thesis is very easy to identify, however, if it were more specific, I believe that your body paragraphs could be more organized.
As for the introduction, The topic sentence was wordy and it made the introduction take longer to get to the point; and the introduction is very long. I think that it could have been condensed if you only spoke about social media instead of talking about communication methods in the past. you could focus more on social media and who we try to portray on there and the pressure of being “perfect”.
Referring to your body paragraphs, I think that they are very long and includes too many ideas, pick one and elaborate, a well-stated thesis will help you with this.
After making some of these revisions, I would like read this essay, I am very interested to see the turnout of your essay.
Best,
Adriana
my research paper draft is below:
Adriana Rodriguez
Karlianne Seri
WRT 102.72
10 March 2018
Why Does a Stigma Towards Mental Disorders Exist In the Hispanic Community?
Mental health is a person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being. Some examples of mental disorders are: depression, schizophrenia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. In the United States, mental disorders are taken seriously and they have the veterans as to verify that mental health is important. PTSD is a common mental disorder that occurs in war veterans. PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) occurs after one has suffered a traumatic event.According to U.S Department of Veterans Affairs, the department of government that provides healthcare services for the U.S military veterans, About 15 out of every 100 Vietnam Veterans (or 15%) were currently diagnosed with PTSD at the time of the most recent study in the late 1980s, the National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment Study (NVVRS). Latinos, on the other hand, don’t really take mental disorders seriously. when someone within the community is said to be having symptoms of a mental illness they are “loco/a” (crazy). Shaela Dichoso, a reporter for CNN stated that: “only about 20 percent of Latinos with a psychological disorder consult a general health-care provider about their symptoms, and just 10 percent contact a mental-health specialist”. There are about 49 million Latinos in the U.S. and only 20 percent of them speak out on their condition. Many Hispanics are not open to accepting mental disorders as a serious illness.The purpose of this paper is to explore why the stigma of mental health in the Hispanic community exists.
First generation immigrants, the sons, and daughters of immigrants are likely to understand mental health better than their parents; this has to do with cultural exposure. Carmen Cusido is the daughter of Cuban immigrants, she was assimilated to American society rather than her roots. Cusido wanted to look like Jennifer Aniston and Kate Moss (NBC). Cusido was going through an eating disorder, specifically, anorexia nervosa. Anorexia nervosa is “an eating disorder characterized by weight loss (or lack of appropriate weight gain in growing children); difficulties maintaining an appropriate body weight for height, age, and stature; and, in many individuals, distorted body image” (NEDA). While she was going through an eating disorder, He parents were completely oblivious to her condition: “My parents’ ignorance about my “American disease,” as they called it,”(NBC). Cucido’s parents as well as other Hispanic don’t understand mental disorders and Hispanic immigrants had trouble understanding an eating disorder because like carmen, her parents came to the United States because of the political oppression and economic state that they were in. How will her parents understand that their American daughter wants to starve when there are people starving in their home country. The generation gap and the cultural difference between immigrant parents and first generation immigrants promotes the stigma of mental health because the immigrant parents enforce their beliefs to their children.
Lack of education is another factor that contributes to the stigma of mental health in the Hispanic community. Hispanics aren’t aware of mental health and mental disorders. when someone within the community is said to be having symptoms on a mental illness they are “loco/a” (crazy) which creates the stigma because they completely ignore the illness and disregard its power. The ignorance towards the illness allows for an wrong idea of what the illness is. Latinos often receive the wrong treatment for mental disorders because they deny that mental health is a real diseases. Cusido’s parents even tried having an oncologist view her because they thought that she had cancer (NBC). The lack of education and understanding worsens the stigma because it allows for it continue to exists.
Because Latinos don’t see the mental disorder as a real issue, they don’t receive the correct treatment for their illness. Receiving the improper care for a mental disease can influence the perspective of someone who is going through a disorder because it promoted the incorrect believes that the person already has towards mental illnesses .A majority of latinos are raised believing in religion and religion plays a role in why latinos don’t believe in mental health disorders because Latinos are more likely to get their mental health services from religious leaders . The lack of awareness that latinos have on the subject may restrict them on getting help. The stigma and the incorrect is what keeps people from facing the reality of the disease.When Latinos face to a religious authority, they will say that they reason why someone with depression is going through that is because they are not close enough to god, a mental health professional will diagnose that person with depression. The incorrect help will just add on barriers to reality of the illness and add on other evidence for latinos to upheld the stigma.
The social media outlet that I decided to analyze is Instagram because I think that there are so may rhetorical situations since Instagram is strictly pictures. I hopes that my followers saw the picture because I was on vacation. Although I did not receive any comments, however the audience responded with likes; I received 50 of them.
Usually for my instagram captions I would write something playful that complements the picture for example, on one of my pictures that I posted my hair was in a bun and for my caption I wrote “look at the bun on this bum, hun”. However fir this picture I now realize that because I thought that the picture was very “instagramy” thats it spoke for itself so I just added a palm tree and bike emojis because thats is what I found that complements the picture.
There is no one in particular that I hoped would see this post because to me instagram is not a personal platform for my use. I do have friends and very little family on Instagram but I add people tat I don’t know and never ever seen in my life before. And because of this I believe that Instagram is the place where yes i am myself because I post things that I believe are things to be showcased but I do also believe that I use it in a away that, this is how I want to present myself to the world. I have a somewhat aesthetic going on so I appreciate the art or photography but Im also silly I write playful captions on my pictures. With this being said I think that my instagram can say a-lot about who I am as a person.
The unwritten rules rules of Instagram made me post this picture on Instagram. Instagram is strictly for picture. People have different accounts for different reasons. There could be an account just for memes, aesthetic pictures, “finstas”, a person looking to be discovered may use their instagram strictly to showcase their talent and so on. My instagram is what people call “basic” because it is very common. I do post pictures of myself but once in a while I post pictures that say “I think that I’m a professional photographer because I have an iPhone”. Some people follow themes on instagram and that would mean, that that there is something in common with all of the pictures that are posted to the account whether it be the same filter or the same background. I guess my instagram has a certain aesthetic where every picture has to be neat and “Instagram quality”. The picture is very artsy and thats why I chose to post it on Instagram and not snapchat. I use snapchat as a more personal media outlet when I showcase the true colors of my personality and on Instagram, I am more serious about what I post.
To whom it may concern,
my Name is Adriana Rodriguez I am am undergraduate at Stony Brook University majoring in Health Science with a Pre-Med track. I was very exited when I saw an opening for volunteer at the New York Presbyterian Hospital. I am very interested in giving back to a community who saves lives everyday, me being one of them. I came to this hospital needing dental emergency assistant and the doctors and inters treated me very well. I wish to help in making sure that the doctors, secretaries, nurses, etc are bale to provide the same care that they offered me to the future patients.
By volunteering at this hospital I would like to discover my passion in the medical field. Since I am studying medicine, I would like to have an idea on which field I would like to concentrate in. My interest in cardiology has led me to apply to volunteer at this hospital. I know that the Presbyterian has a history for its great work with cardiology patients.
My experience in the culinary field has provided me with the abilities to communicate well with others, to move at a fast pace and to work well under pressure. culinary and medicine are very different but one thing that I believe is that both fields cater to the customer and at the end of the day is about making the people happy, satisfied and well .My passion for the medical field will transfer into my desire to complete any task that I am assigned to best of my abilities. My work ethic and determination will be a great addition to the serious and professional staff at your hospital.
I thank you for taking the time to review my cover letter and I invite you to review my resume as well. I hope to hear back from you and schedule an interview. I look forward in hearing back from you.
For this blog post I decided to read an OpEd on the same topic as my argumentative essay. Im writing on gentrification in New York City however, I wanted to read about gentrification in other cities. I found the “How Hipsters Ruined Paris” by Thomas Chatterton Williams, an author who has written other pieces on social issues for many newspapers.
“How Hipsters Ruined Paris” talks about how what was once known as: la Nouvelle-Athènes” is drastically changing. its originality has been striped away and becoming more like New York City by replacing dry cleaners and pharmacies that have defined the neighborhood for decades with organic food places and “upscale cocktail bars’. Williams argues that the gentrification occurring, is eliminating the originality of what the place once was and that its feeding into the “basic” social media culture where things are supposed to look aesthetic. Williams argues in the 9th paragraph, The logical extension is to “curate” our urban spaces like style blogs or Pinterest boards”. Williams also argues that the environment that gentrification creates is not always good it could be appealing, provocative and even repulsive (Williams).
To introduce his argument, Williams first begins to use emotional appeals though his use of word choice to describe how Paris once was,It was the Paris of Alexandre Dumas, Victor Hugo, Gustave Moreau and Pierre-Auguste Renoir.” The author paints lovely picture and then in few words he pints grey clouds to tell the reader as soon as they begin reading why gentrification is problem. To validate his argument the author uses an appeal to authority in the 6th paragraph. the author includes a personal story to further expand his argument When my wife and I first moved here in 2011, I wasn’t sure what to make of living in the middle of a functioning red-light district.” The author includes the story to confirm to the reader the he knows what he. s talking abut because he has lived through it.
For my argumentative paper I want to talk about something that I’m really passionate about because I believe that when I do something that I care about and I believe in, that passion will transmit into my work and I will do a great job. Something that I am really passionate about is Mental illnesses and mental health. I chose this topic because it is something that I have had to deal with and I know that there is a stigma in society. I believe that being healthy doesn’t just mean physically it also means mentally healthy. I think that it is important to discuss mental health because being mentally unstable can influence someone’s everyday life as much as a broken bone. I also think that if people were mentally ok then, there would bemuses bullying in school, there wouldn’t be as much school shootings, less suicide rates and people would be happier. Its also important to speak about mental illness because there exists a stigma about it. people either don’t believe that people have mental illness or they don think that it is something to take serious. For my essay I proposed a solution to the mental health stigma in society. Because the younger generation is the future, just like how kids learn to ride a bike young and remember forever, if a course on mental health is implemented in the school curriculum, kids will learn to me mental fit people in their later lives. For my essay I have gathered some data from MentalHealthAmerica.net:
- 1 in 5 Adults (nearly 40 million Americans) in America suffer from mental illness and thats just the ones that are diagnosed. I can’t even imagine the amount of Americans that suffer from mental illness.
- Youth mental health is worsening. Rates of youth with severe depression increased from 5.9% in 2012 to 8.2% in 2015. Even with severe depression, 76% of youth are left with no or insufficient treatment
- …But most Americans still lack access to care. 56% of American adults with a mental illness do not receive treatment. Even in Maine, the state with the best access, 41.4% of adults with a mental illness do not receive treatment.
Mentally illness can lede to suicide. Many people don’t really understand why some people commit suicide and they call the victims “selfish”. with this essay I would life to argue the importance of mental illness comprehension and I will offer a solution for the problem.
Adriana Rodriguez
Professor Karlianne Seri
WRT 102.72
27 February 2018
Keeping Up With Kendall and Pepsi
On April 4th of 2017, Pepsi released a commercial alongside reality t.v star, super model and cultural influencer Kendall Jenner. The commercial begins with the opening of a Pepsi can then, the camera pans back and forth between a march and Kendall Jenner. In the march, there are people of different skin color, gender and age protesting for peace. Like in any other protest, the police shows up to stop it. When the camera pans over to Kendall Jenner, she is shown in the middle of a photoshoot. Kendall ignores the march until someone invites her to join. When Kendall joins the protest, she hands a police officer a can of pepsi which ended the need for a protest because unity was established as the police officer accepted the Pepsi can and took a sip. The social media world revolted, questioning the purpose of the commercial. Obviously, Pepsi is trying to promote their product but, why did they decide to market it by using issues that are currently being battled? Why did they include Kendall Jenner? Why did Pepsi think that a can of their soda would bring world peace? Pepsi was effective in their use of persuasive pathos to connect with their intended audience however, the persuasive ethos established through Pepsi and Kendall Jenner caused the commercial to be ineffective in the end.
Pepsi uses the protest as an emotional appeal to their audience. The protest in the commercial is very similar to the ones happening in present-day due to the fight between the current government and the governed. People in today’s society are fighting for women’s rights, immigration reforms, gun violence, the Black Lives Matter movement (BLM) and police brutality. The commercial sparked a similarity to the BLM movement when policemen were shown trying to stop the protest.The police is a huge portion of the reason why the BLM movement exists and in any protest, they are the ones trying to end it. Because the police is negatively thought of, while people were watching the commercial, they might of had some possible feelings of anger. Something to notice from the commercial was that the people in the protest are similar to the people protesting “in real life”: the young minority. Having relevant issues and relatable people presented in the commercial is an effective way in which the advertisers related to their audience. In a way, Pesi is saying that they understand what their audience is facing and they are establishing compassion. Connecting to an audience is very effective because it creates a relationship between the advertisers and their audience.
Another successful use of emotional appeal in the commencal is the background music. The song was definitely trying to persuade the audience to do something. The song is “Lions” by Skip Marley. The lyrics of the song include: “yeah, if ya took all my rights away”,”hates been winning but the lovers aint done”. These lines suggest that there are people whose rights are being taken away and all of the hate in this world has encouraged the hate to spread. This sends a message to people to reassure them of what is happening. Besides the visual of the protest, the song is really emphasising the issues in the commercial and the current events. In the song the verse is a call action. The verse states: “cause we are the lions, we are the chosen were gonna shine out the dark, we are the movement, this generation, you better know who we are who we are”. In this verse the singer is insinuating that this generation is the generation that needs to step up and make a change.
The effectiveness of the commercial took a downfall because of Kendall Jenner’s ethos. The Kardashian-Jenner family is known to be very controversial. Although Kendall is not a Kardashian, she is affiliated with them because Kendall’s half sisters are Kardashians. The Kardashian fame rose because of Kim Kardashian which in itself is a controversial topic. Normally, people say that they are famous for nothing because their profession isn’t one that commonly brings people fame; they aren’t athletes and they don’t sing or act. The Kardashians also have their own reality t.v show: Keeping Up With the Kardashians. For people who have no real talent or no real importance to society, why do they think their life is so important that they have to air it to the entire world? The main reason I believe that this family receives the attention that they receive is because if how plastic they are, literally. They are known for enhancing their body parts to recreate their image. Because Kendall comes from this family and is a supermodel she has a very superficial image .The audience certainly did not forget about the Kardashian-Jenner image when they watched Kendall in the Pepsi commercial.What does Kendall know about fighting for her rights? That is what most people asked themselves when they saw the commercial and that is what we see in the commercial. While the march advocating for peace is going on, Kendall in shown modeling at a photoshoot. This sparked in the audience’s mind how out of touch she is with the rest of the “normal” people. Her life seemed very privileged which does not establish credibility to be the face of a peace protest. Before Kendall joins the march, she removes her wig, bold lipstick and the photoshoot dress. When Kendall joins the march she is shown in natural makeup and in the most cliche “casual” outfit: all denim. Her intent of “fitting in” also showed how unrelatable she is to the people who don’t have a life like hers. She had to “downgrade” her image to fit in. Kendall’s ethos created turbulence in the purpose of the commercial which added to the backlash that it received.
The ethos established by Pepsi was the top of the cherry for the unsuccessful commercail. Throughout the commercial Pepsi was building up the ethos that they were creating for themselves. The commercial begins with the opening of a can op Pepsi. We then see cans of pepsi repeatedly throughout the commercial like on a countertop. The Pepsi logo has a specific shade of blue which is easily notable.The blue colors are sneakily placed in different shots throughout the commercial, specially in the march where there are some people wearing at least one blue item and a guitar case front and center in the shade of blue. At the end of the commercial, Kendall Jenner takes a can of Pepsi and hands it over to the police officer, the officer then accepts the can, opens it up and drinks it. The crowd from the march cheers indicating that the need for the protest was over because the officer took the Pepsi can from Kendall. Maybe Pepsi was trying to say that if society found something in common, then people will lean to ou their differences aside and unite however, that it not what people perceived. This scene in the commercial struck people with disrespect at the idea that Pepsi though that with a can of their soda, all problems will disappear and world peace could be achieved.
Overall, Pepsi’s commercial started off on a successful path because the advertisers did a good job in creating a relationship with their audience through the peace protest that took place however, the ethos established in the commercial created the downfall of its efficiency. By using Kendall Jenner in their commercial Pepsi thought that they could attract a large audience which it did however that large audience is the audience that did not approve of the commercial. Kendall Jenner has a very specific brand to her name and not one to be known for advocating for people’s rights. Pepsi’s ethos did not balance Kendall’s ethos either. In the commercial Pepsi is shown as the cure to world peace which people found ridiculous. Maybe Pepsi could of used the protest as persuasive pathos without the ethos in the commercial then, it would of been more effective however, the combination of both resulted in the disaster that it became.
After reading “Us and Them” I can say that overall, I really liked the story. The tone of the story is very casual and easy to follow. Everyone interprets readings differently but in the way that Interpreted the story I really liked it. My interpretation of the story was someone looking into how other people live and “what is considered normal” In the story the narrator mention how the neighbors didn’t own a television and thought that it was weird because he assumes that everyone had a television. Another thing that left the narrator in shock was the fact that the neighbors celebrated Halloween on November fist and no on October 31st.I Believe that we all come from different backrounds which influences our character. I think that the story definetly did a good job in teaching us all a lesson which I believe to be that: Not everyone will be the same, there are people who are different than the majority, but not matter how different, they should be accepted.
I can definetly relate to this story is a personal way. Moving and switching schools is common however, When I was younger I used to change schools every year, when I was in the fifth grade I was in three different schools. Making friends was always thought because I knew that I would leve them by the end of the summer. And its also not easy to be the new girl, all of the girls thought that my hairy Spanish arms were weird and that something that I had to learn that it wasn’t very common and the reason that the kids reacted to them was normal because it’s something that they have never experienced before.
The story is written from a very innocent point of view and I think that is what makes the story so powerful and impactful. Children are innocent they say things that sometimes may be considered rude or unethical. But after reading this story and seeing how children can learn can reflect on how adults can learn too. I really liked this story also because, it taught me that if we just take the time to understand and respect people’s differences a lot of social problems in todays society would be a problem anymore.
