There are a multitude of ways a person can recall a memory. Some memories trigger off through emotions. When your brain recognizes a scenario similar to a memory, you experience the same feelings. The stronger the emotion of the memory, the stronger it will be in the current situation. Some memories trigger off by the location. When walking into a room, your brain notes every object inside. Your brain may not recall the exact position of each object, but once something noteworthy happens there, the area saves in your memory. When you return to the location, you’ll remember what happened there. Some memories trigger off by your senses. These include iconic memory (visual), haptic memory (touch), and echoic memory (auditory). Sensory memories are brief, allowing people to retain impressions of the sensory information after the original stimuli cease to exist. I’ve photographed and edited images that personally symbolize each previously mentioned trigger. I’ve created audio files to accompany the photos. They function as abstract representations of recalling a memory.
Senses can trigger memories. The color green reminds me of a friend I lost. They’d often gift me potted plants. The subtle smell brings me back to a place where I was happier. I still care for the plants, which makes me feel bittersweet. Rough textures remind me of the trails I used to walk. My crush accompanied me on my first walk. We followed the train tracks towards a lake, spending the day together. The feeling of walking through gravel makes me remember them and the trails. They gifted me a deer bone they discovered. Holding it brings great fondness, filling my heart with hope. My father likes to shuffle and slam a deck of cards on the living room table. The clacking noise reaches my room, which lets me know he’s downstairs. It causes my heartbeat to rise, making me hesitate to go downstairs until the noise stops.Location can trigger memories. There was a family altercation in the kitchen of my house. One family member was a threat to another. I was the only one to protect them, which also put me at risk. The situation resulted in some of my family hiding in another house and a frustrating process of misplaced blame, unwarranted forgiveness, and a gradual recovery. Whenever I pass the kitchen, I remember what happened. How scared and angry each family member was, what was said, and how I felt. I’ve had an epiphany: this applies to every room of the house. Every family member is associated with a room due to their frequency there. My mom studies in the kitchen, my father watches tv in the living room, and my brother video calls his friends in the dining room. I stay isolated in my room upstairs. My family tends to bring up things.Emotions can trigger memories. Months after my time at the psych ward, I’ve developed less than acceptable coping mechanisms. It was as if whenever I was angry or upset, my thoughts would always trail back to the psych ward. Any inconvenience, substantial or minimal, reminded me of my time there. Whenever I was under degradation by a stranger, close one, or family member, it reminded me of how dehumanizing the psych ward was for me. Once my mind is too far into the memories, I start to shake, and my heart rate increases. Then I do drastic things like retreating towards myself and cutting myself off from friends. I feel like my brain is busted. I’m not thinking in a way that is healthy or constructive. I need to develop a way to acknowledge my trauma without repercussions. I’m in the process of patching up the holes in my walls.
