Dear Writer,

I recently read your paper entitled: “Society and Body Images”. When I read the title I was compelled to read it because it is a topic very close to my heart.

I thought that you did well in clearly stating what your topic was and you consistently supported one argument throughout your entire paper. The tone and language of the paper were professional yet understandable and easy to follow. I feel like you did a great job in keeping your audience in mind. In structural-wise I think that you structured your essay in an organized manner.

While there were so many things that I enjoyed about your paper, there were somethings in which I believe that you could work on to make your paper a tad bit better. The title of your paper attracted me to read it but I think it could be a little more attention-grabbing. I your thesis is very easy to identify, however, if it were more specific, I believe that your body paragraphs could be more organized.

As for the introduction, The topic sentence was wordy and it made the introduction take longer to get to the point; and the introduction is very long. I think that it could have been condensed if you only spoke about social media instead of talking about communication methods in the past. you could focus more on social media and who we try to portray on there and the pressure of being “perfect”.

Referring to your body paragraphs, I think that they are very long and includes too many ideas, pick one and elaborate, a well-stated thesis will help you with this.

After making some of these revisions, I would like read this essay, I am very interested to see the turnout of your essay.

Best,

Adriana