My project is meant to represent the impact of childhood amnesia. For most of us, certain childhood memories are fuzzy (which is represented by the white hues depicted over the painting in my project). In fact, of the various resources I scoured on childhood amnesia and memory, they all seem to concur: events that take place in the first few years of your life are very, very rarely stored in our memory. While our parents and relatives may remember our first words, or even our first day of preschool, we are not likely to recall these events. As we get older, childhood memories get progressively more fuzzy, as we begin to build new memories in subsequent life experiences.

However, beyond a normal level of childhood amnesia that we all experience in our lifetime, traumatic events can also cause amnesia and taint even positive childhood memories and experiences, or on the other hand, cause one to only remember the positive childhood experiences. Some children are unable to recall specific occurrences of abuse during childhood, but these suppressed memories may re-surface during adulthood; other times, childhood trauma can taint a person’s entire recollection of their childhood.

In my painting, which is comprised of both an oil painting plus digital edits, I wanted to indicate a happy, typical childhood memory and distort it to represent both a normal degree of childhood amnesia, plus chunks of memory that may be erased or tainted by trauma (which is indicated by the harsh black rectangles with black smudges surrounding them). In my last project, focused around sleep, I utilized the method of digitally transforming a 2D traditional painting. I really enjoyed the outcome and process of that piece, and opted to do something similar for this project. I utilized Microsoft Paint 3D for this project, to edit an existing oil painting.

Sources:

https://www.apa.org/science/about/psa/2004/12/bauer

https://www.healthline.com/health/why-cant-i-remember-my-childhood

https://istss.org/public-resources/trauma-basics/what-is-childhood-trauma/remembering-childhood-trauma#:~:text=But%20only%20in%20the%20past,are%20unlikely%20to%20be%20remembered.

My project is based on insomnia. It is a combination of digital art and colored pencil on cotton pastel paper. It incorporates a few different elements of the condition…the first concept highlighted by this piece is how social media can exacerbate insomnia. Using technology is a common coping mechanism for insomnia sufferers, but can worsen things by allowing the brain to remain “on” and engaged, as well as causing more anxiety. Consequently, an unhealthy cycle is perpetuated. Another concept highlighted by the piece are some of the physical symptoms brought on by insomnia. One of those is elevated heart rate, which I expressed using an ECG rhythm that indicates tachycardia. Another is the “wide-open” appearance of the eye, which represents that this “always-on” feeling can begin to wear on a person’s overall functioning. If they are not getting enough sleep, they can suffer severe consequences that degrade their overall functioning. 

Sources:

Roth T. (2007). Insomnia: definition, prevalence, etiology, and consequences. Journal of clinical sleep medicine : JCSM : official publication of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, 3(5 Suppl), S7–S10.

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/sleep-and-social-media

My project is on insomnia. Insomnia is something that impacts many people, but is something that often goes untreated. My goal is to portray the emotions that go into insomnia in the moment. The research I’ve conducted on insomnia shows that much like depression (which I researched for my last project), the condition presents with somatic symptoms that go beyond its emotional impact. My plan for the project is to work in pastel or watercolor.

The piece that I found relating to insomnia is a piece by an Marietou Biteye. I like its relation to time, but also the appearance of an eye glued wide open (which is sometimes how my eyes feel when trying to go to sleep, as someone who struggles with insomnia).

Source:

Roth T. (2007). Insomnia: definition, prevalence, etiology, and consequences. Journal of clinical sleep medicine : JCSM : official publication of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, 3(5 Suppl), S7–S10.

My project is inspired by the concept of photographic memory. As a person who has what many would consider to be “photographic memory”, it is easier to recall things exactly as they appeared when I viewed them. For me, this includes people that are my family or friends. Dr. Sacks writes in his book, The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, about a patient whose art dramatically changed due not to artistic exploration, but rather “pathology.” This made me begin to contemplate the impact that a decline in memory would have on my ability to connect to the world. I decided to build upon a portrait series I had done previously of my friends that focused on specific characteristics that I associate with them. My goal was to answer this question: “when my memory declines, and I can no longer close my eyes and see you exactly as you are, what will I remember you by?” From the use of color, to the facial expression and pose, to the choice of medium itself, I was able to render my friends in a way that depicts not just their appearance, but their personality. Included in this project are two haikus that further express how I remember my friends, beyond just what can be seen in a photograph.

Sources:

The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/i-developed-what-appears-to-be-a-ph/

For my second project, I decided to focus in on Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and how it can have a significant impact on perception. There is often a disconnect between a depressed person’s perception of the outside world, and how the outside world views the depressed person. My painting portrays a “normal-looking” person, smiling and appearing well groomed. This is intended to portray how the outside world might view a person with depression. From the outside, it might look as if the person is fine. However, the grey background is meant to portray the basis of a person with depression’s perception. The sad octopus depicts that depression is always there, as it is a chronic condition. Even if the person is having a good day or doing well, it still looms over the person.

Additionally, depression is often perceived to be solely a brain condition. However, there is extensive research that depression impacts a person far beyond just their emotional state. In research compiled and analyzed by Dr. Madhukar Trivedi, a psychiatrist, a significant number (almost 70 percent) of people “who met the criteria for depression” had “only somatic symptoms as the reason” for seeking medical care (Trivedi 2004). Depression is a pervasive condition, and not only does it impact the perception of the person experiencing it, but societal perception of it is still skewed. Stigma is a major challenge when it comes to MDD, and mental illness in general, which can make this perceptual disconnect even more apparent. 

Sources:

Trivedi M. H. (2004). The link between depression and physical symptoms. Primary care companion to the Journal of clinical psychiatry, 6(Suppl 1), 12–16.

For the Oliver Sacks research project, I chose to read The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat, and Other Clinical Tales. There were a few aspects of the book that stood out to me. They pertain to the work we’ve been doing in our course, and offered a prime opportunity for me to examine these topics in the context of my own life. One example of a quote that resonated with me from Sack’s book is:

Neurology’s favorite word is ‘deficit’, denoting an impairment or incapacity of 

neurological function: loss of speech, loss of language, loss of memory, loss of vision, loss of dexterity, loss of identity and myriad other lacks and losses of specific functions (or faculties). For all of these dysfunctions (another favorite term), we have privative words of every sort—Aphonia, Aphemia, Aphasia, Alexia, Apraxia, Agnosia, Amnesia, Ataxia—a word for every specific neural or mental function of which patients, through disease, or injury, or failure to develop, may find themselves partly or wholly deprived. (Sacks 1973, p. 7).

Sacks highlights an important point through this quote. Throughout medicine, but especially in the fields of neurology and psychiatry, conditions are viewed as “deficits” rather than “variations” of the normal human condition. In the case of our class project, “Different, Not Less,” we are exploring these conditions in the context of variations, rather than depicting them as errors or faults in the person experiencing them. “Deprivation” is an interesting concept that is considered frequently when a patient is experiencing a mental disorder or condition. However, not all patients feel “deprived” by their condition, and some may even find that the condition ends up becoming part of their identity in a positive way. 

In addition to Sacks’ point regarding the “deficits” patients experience, I found this portion regarding artists and visual agnosia to be quite intriguing as well:

He had indeed moved from realism to nonrepresentation to the abstract, yet this was not the artist, but the pathology, advancing— advancing towards a profound visual agnosia, in which all powers of representation and imagery, all sense of the concrete, all sense of reality, were being destroyed. This wall of paintings was a tragic pathological exhibit, which belonged to neurology, not art. (Sacks 1973 p. 19).

In my “Memory” project for this course, I highlighted different characteristics that I would remember my friends by when I am no longer able to recall them through photographic memory. The “tragic pathological exhibit” that Sacks mentions is what I feel my project precedes; my project shows what I, a healthy 20 year old artist, is able to portray my friends through my art. But what about if my memory does begin to deteriorate? Will I be able to depict these characteristics in my friends as I get older? Will these traits still resonate with me? This is what I seeked to capture in my project, and what Sacks’ case study on this patient reinforced.

Overall, reading Oliver Sacks’ book provided an opportunity for introspection and serious consideration of how my mental competency could evolve or change over time. It also provided me the opportunity to examine this in the context of my identity as an artist. I have encountered Sacks’ work in the past, and hope to encounter it again in a subsequent course.

The artist I chose to research is Lisa Park. Park is based in both Manhattan, NY and Seoul, South Korea. She has acquired degrees from both ArtCenter College in Pasadena, CA and NYU Tisch. Her works are three-dimensional in nature and based on biofeedback technology, whether it be her subject’s heart rate or mood. Many of her works focus on brain waves. The artist has found ways to quantify certain moods or emotional states and portray them as colors or patterns. 

While Park has created several fascinating works on display throughout the world, there were a specific few that really captivated me. Heartmonic utilizes the concept of an orchestra to create its art. The participants become the “instruments,” and their body movements (determined by the “conductor” who is the artist) produce the sound. I find this to be quite interesting, since even though the music is controlled by the participants’ heart rate, the brain still plays a role in this experience. Participants can focus in on their breathing and heart rate and remain mindful throughout the duration of the song being performed. Psychological control is an important aspect of any of Park’s biofeedback-based works, as the brain’s power over the rest of the body is pervasive but crucial.

Another piece that fascinated me is Eudaimonia. Not only does the technology reflect brain waves onto the surface of pools of water, data visualizations are created that are shared to Instagram. Social media plays an integral role in the dissemination of 21st century art, which is why Park’s ability to display her works on social media (beyond just photos of the exhibit) is important. The piece plays with the concepts of “attention” and “meditation” and how the ripples in the water are created are dependent on the participant’s current state of focus. Park’s works have an incredible ability to entice her audience and express important lessons regarding the human body and its connection to the world. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed learning more about Park and her portfolio.

Photos of Park’s work can be found here:

https://www.thelisapark.com/

Sources:

https://www.thelisapark.com/

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