Writer,

As a whole, the arguments for and against stem cell research are compelling. The language used throughout the paper gets confusing over time, especially with all of the abbreviations. I would add a paragraph delving into how stem cells are currently being used and the benefits and consequences of them, before the arguments for and against. The thesis could be switched around to include specifics on the topic, the potentials, and arguments. The use of evidence is good throughout the paper, but the beginning of the first body paragraph is confusing at first. The order of the body paragraphs seems to be too much of the side against stem cell research, with not much on the benefits. More evidence is needed to show the positives of stem-cell research, maybe an account of a person who has received it. Also, the alternates to taking stem-cells from embryos should be discussed more. More can be added to the SSC section, adult stem cell research.

Overall the essay uses high level language and is structured well to provide the arguments for and against stem cell research. Some of the terms may be confusing to the average reader. The thesis sentence can be better structured for the order of the body paragraphs. The body paragraphs should be moved around to introduce the reader to the topic and have more background knowledge before starting the argument because the intro paragraph isn’t enough. These edits and the addition of a conclusion paragraph would make a nice essay.

Brian Hartmann