Yes, These Are Our Students

Actual e-mail from an actual prospective student:

hello…
itz ma plesure 2hav ur mail……..
i hav greta interest in ur school…..
but d prb is m planin 2get tramsfer2 CUNY…….
n i hav applied 2 queens col……
if i wan 2 take transfer 2 ur shoool for SPRING 2008 IS DER ANY CHNACE 2DO SO….?
PLZ LET ME NO IF POSI………
N PLZ SHOW ME D WAY HOW TO GET TO UR SCHOOL…….
I HAVE SEBT MA APPLI TO QUEENS COL N I HOP SO MA SEVIS IS ALSO TRANSFER..
BUT DEEP 4RM MA HEART I WANA CUM DER……..
IS DER ANY WAY? PLZ LET ME KNO AS SOON AS POSI…….
HOP U’LL DO SO……..

Stunning. Positively, absolutely, stunning. Thankfully, this student has not applied yet; because I was ready to run to the processing room and find the biggest “denied” stamp I could find. Is this the way you’d write to a future employer? Or anyone, really? You’d think I’d seen everything in seven years, but I’m really amazed by this stuff sometimes.