Advisor: Ian Alan Paul

Artist’s Statement:

In my four years in Stony Brook, I’ve become aware of many stories of my friends who’ve had questionable sexual experiences. Four volunteered to tell their stories to show how common sexual assault/harassment is, and how so many people all around us could tell you a similar story, if only you would ask.

Sexual Assault is defined as sexual contact that occurs without consent from the victim and can take many forms such as attempted rape or rape, fondling, or forcing someone by physical pressure or emotional coercion and manipulation to perform sexual acts. There are many people who go through some form of assault and even if they have a hard time labeling their experience as such, these instances have a profound effect on them. For example, it can affect future relationships, perceptions of self, and one’s relations with others, as well as induce feelings of great anxiety or anger. I’ve talked to a friend who, after an experience became hyper-aware of her appearance, and was reluctant to wear outfits that made her feel good about herself because she was afraid it would “invite” people to harass her. Another friend has some trouble opening up in her relationships. Meanwhile, my own experiences include unwanted flashbacks and difficulty recalling aspects of the event. I wanted to shine a light on these stories, and to let people know that no matter what their experiences are with sexual assault, whether they think it is “not a big deal” or not, that they are not alone, and their feelings about their experiences are valid.

Being such a sensitive topic, my first priority was that any persons who would be willing to be interviewed would have to stay anonymous. When the interviews were concluded and edited together, I was struck by how emotional it was. Truly, it was difficult to listen to my friends talk about these events again and again. When I conceptualized this project, I meant to have more active animation, but suddenly that seemed out of pace. I wanted the audience to really focus on the words, the way the interviewees talk, and the weight of emotion behind their speech. While my art is usually a lot more visually driven, I had to take a step back and re-evaluate what form would best suit the function I intended for this project.

Acknowledgment

I want to thank a few people who helped me with this project. First, of course, would be my friends, without whom this project would not exist. Thank you for believing in this project enough to revisit unpleasant memories. Ian Alan Paul, my faculty mentor who was really patient with me and whose input was invaluable in determining the direction of the work. Lorena and Takafumi for being so patient during these particularly difficult times. Finally, all my friends (whether or not you were interviewed), my significant other, and my family who have been my biggest supporters.