Advisor: Lorena Salcedo-Watson

Duality

I don’t create art for my classes, teachers, grades, etc. I make art for myself to help me process my memories, feelings, and trauma. I have an unhealthy tendency to repress problems and bury myself through work. However, through the work I’ve created for this show, I’ve learned that these memories and feelings aren’t just something I must accept but something I can be inspired by. My art gives me a platform to share and process my complex feelings and relationships with my parents, my double major in Studio Art and Biology, and my cultural identity. 

My parents immigrated from China for graduate school in the late 1990s. They raised my siblings and I with the same food, traditions, and decorations they had when they were growing up. I incorporate traditional Chinese symbolism and imagery, and use them to express my personal feelings and experiences. Some themes that I’ve been focusing on in my prints are juxtaposing Chinese and American cultures and also my anxiety of losing more and more of my Chinese culture as I get older.

Since my parents are Chinese immigrants and also scientists, their conservative and STEM focused mindset has made it difficult for them to accept my passion in art. When I was younger they tried to discourage me from pursuing an art career by belittling my work and creativity, repeatedly telling me how I’m going to end up doing a menial job, or saying I have to rely on a rich husband etc. They were worried that I wasn’t going to make any money as a studio art major, so they forced me to go to a more general college and pursue a double major in Studio Art and Biology. Although their words upset and haunt me, I understand it came from a place of worry and love. I express the variety of complex feelings including anger, resentment, but also gratitude and understanding through my lithographs. 

Even though it wasn’t my initial plan, I’m overall very glad I double majored in Biology and Studio Art. I learned how to balance my more analytical and focused left brain with my more creative right brain. I used this duality to inspire a series of three ceramic sculptures. I sculpted anatomically accurate bones next to coiled more artistic versions of them. This is how I juxtapose Studio Art and Biology within myself. 

With each new print and sculpture I create, the more I learn about myself and slowly begin to accept myself as a Chinese American artist and all of the beauty, fun, self doubt, stress and pain that I’ve experienced with it.

Conflicting Feelings Triptych, Date: November 2020, Dimensions 64in x 25in, Medium: Color lithography

A Deeper Understanding, Date: November 2020, Dimensions 20in x 23in, Medium: Color lithography 

I deeply admire my parents overcoming so many financial, cultural, and social barriers to start a new and stable life for my family. However, their traditional beliefs about education has made it difficult to appreciate any other majors besides STEM. Although I’ve been passionate about art since I was little, it was hard for them to accept this as a potential career. Throughout high school they tried to discourage me by belittling my work, questioning what realistic jobs I could get, and how much money I could actually make. Although this upset me and has caused some resentment towards them, I realize that if they haven’t immigrated to America, I probably wouldn’t be able to pursue a future in art at all. I wouldn’t have been able to take art courses outside of school, done art internships, or make it my major.

My Chinese zodiac sign is the rabbit, so I wanted to incorporate all three of our zodiac animals to represent all parts of our relationship, both good and bad. The middle print was definitely a homage to my parents, but I wanted the two prints on the sides to be more about how their background affected me and my passion for art. I used the zodiac symbols of the dog and rat again, but I gave them sharp teeth and claws to emphasize their painful judgement. The bubble cloud text is also in the typical style of other Chinese art and the text inside are actual things they have said to me in the past. The rabbit looks stoic and still in the middle because I felt like I couldn’t move forward with my passion. The Chinese character in the middle of the body, 痛, means pain.

My Parents’ American Dream, Date: November 2020, Dimensions 24in x 24in, Medium: Color lithography

My parents immigrated to America with little to no money, friends or family, and barely knew any English. They came from poor, rural villages in China and both worked and studied hard to escape that life. They both became extremely successful and established a stable life for my family and their relatives back in China. Even though I’ve known this since I was little, I’m still amazed by their courage. I can’t imagine what it was like to leave everything you know to pursue the faint hope of the American Dream.

I wanted to showcase their courageous immigration in a traditional Chinese paper cut art style. I was inspired by my last visit to China during the new year. As my mom and I were walking around her small hometown, we saw and bought back hundreds of these beautiful and intricate paper cut wall décor.  I wanted to mimic that graphic style while incorporating personal symbols that represent my parents’ journey.

Chinese zodiac symbols are really important in our culture. My dad and mom are born in the year of the dog and rat respectively, so I chose those two animals to symbolize my parents. I also included the cities and provinces that they’re from in the design of the animal. The top countryside landscape represents their humble beginnings from small villages, and the bottom cityscape represents the more urban landscape of Pittsburgh, where they went to graduate school. The other imagery throughout this print are very typical of New Year paper cut art. The middle character 福, fu, means  fortune and blessing. The fish isn’t a zodiac animal, however when the Chinese word is pronounced differently, it means money. Flowers are also common in Chinese paper cut art because it symbolizes nature and beauty.

A Deeper Appreciation, Date: November 2020, Dimensions 20in x 23in, Medium: Color lithography

Despite all of their harmful words, they financially support me to explore and create art. They have sent me to art classes outside of school to learn since I was 12, they let me major in studio art, supported me through nonpaid art internships, and encouraged me to take a variety of art classes at college. This print expresses my gratefulness for allowing me to pursue all of these opportunities.

The rabbit in this piece instead is active, in mid motion leaping in the air. The Chinese character at the center of the body 机会means opportunity. I recognize how if they haven’t immigrated here, I wouldn’t have access to the same programs and experiences. The money bag in the middle has the 福 character which represents how they sponsored me through different art opportunities. The features of the dog and rat are also different from A Deeper Understanding, their faces are formed into a general smile. The three shapes towards the side are traditional Chinese money and the three phrases mean classes, internships, and career.

Chinese Radial, Date: May 2020, Dimensions: 42in x 42in, Medium: Woodblock

This piece was created during quarantine. Like many other art students, I no longer had access to the materials and tools from the lithography studio and was forced to adapt and change mediums. Being home with my family, for the longest time since high school, was what inspired this print. I was surrounded by all of these different objects, food, symbols, etc. that I have grown up with and consider normal, but are probably quite different from other people’s households. I have fond memories of struggling to fold “pretty” dumplings, sharing mooncake during the Mid Autumn Festival, groaning whenever my dad cooked bitter melon, hanging up decorations for Lunar New Year, etc. I wanted to showcase these small but significant objects in traditional colors like red and gold.

This lithographic triptych represents my anxieties of moving out of my childhood home away from my family, and potentially with it my Chinese culture. I’ve tried for years and years to learn Chinese, and I still have the skills of a six year old. This makes it nearly impossible to maintain relationships with my extended family between visits. And although I can make a basic stir fry, authentic Chinese food from my parents’ hometowns are very complex and require unique ingredients. I’m worried that leaving the Chinese environment my parent’s created will make me lose that huge part of myself.

Towards the left of my portrait contains some scenes of my happiest memories when I visit extended family in China. When I visit my mom’s rural home town, we love walking through parks and I’ve always loved the pagodas’ beautiful and intricate designs and colors. However, the things I miss and remember most about my trips are cooking and eating with my family. I love enjoying the complex dishes that can take hours to make, street food, the specialty cuisines of the area, etc. There are different scenes including my aunt rolling out dough for dumpling wrappers, my grandma forming baozi, my uncle eating hot pot, and the wide selection of dishes at dim sum restaurants. Each stage of the print gets darker and the details become less clear representing how I’m worried that this important part of my life and how I was raised can completely fade away and disappear in the future. 

These Intaglio prints are part of a series juxtaposing traditional Chinese imagery against popular New York scenery. These pieces represent the struggles of being raised in two different cultures and not really fitting or identifying with one or the other. To our schools, friends, and community we are considered Chinese because of our skin tone and looks. However, whenever we go to China to visit relatives, we stick out from crowds and are considered American. These images portray how awkward it is to not really fit into either of these cultures and what it’s like to stand out or seem foreign no matter where we are.

Boats Under Brooklyn Bridge, Date: December 2019, Dimensions: 10in x 9in, Medium: Intaglio Etching

These bright, colorful, and beautifully decorated dragon boats are commonly found in Chinese parks. The heads of the three boats are replaced with me and my siblings’ Chinese zodiac animal signs. I was born in the year of the rabbit, my sister was born in the year of the monkey, and my brother was born in the year of the dragon. I placed these three boats in front of the iconic Brooklyn bridge to show how although we were all primarily raised in New York, we will always look like we don’t belong in our predominantly white community.

Between Two Worlds, Date: November 2019, Dimensions: 7in x 13in, Medium: Intaglio Etching

These traditional, intricate Chinese gazebos are commonly found in many rural Chinese parks. I juxtapose behind it the looming skyscrapers in New York City. In this print I used the aquatint technique and a busy chine colle paper to create a mysterious and almost ominous atmosphere. This represents the uneasy feeling of not knowing where I belong. 

When people first hear that I’m a double major in Studio Art and Biology, people assume I’m pursuing a career as a doctor or scientist while art is a side hobby when it’s actually the exact opposite. Although I don’t necessarily plan to work in the Biology field, the most important thing I learned is how to combine my analytical and focused left brain with my creative and flexible right brain. The general idea behind these three sculptures is to place the two drastically different artistic styles next to each other to show how they are both parts of my life, but I place more emphasis on the coiled pieces to show that art is my priority. 

The general concept of these sculptures is contrasting these realistic anatomically accurate bone structures with coiled, abstracted versions of human anatomy. I purposely chose these two different styles because I think the contrast is visually interesting. I finished the anatomically correct structures in a natural, neutral color while the coil structures are bright and colorful to represent my more artistic side. The process of developing these complicated structures and compositions generally involves a lot of trial and error. My ideas change frequently to ensure that the overall piece is stable enough and can be fired properly.

Elevate, Date: April 2021, Dimensions: 18in x 18in x 13in, Medium: Ceramics finished with Watercolor and Acrylic Paint

Release, Date: May 2021, Dimensions: 15in x 12in x 18in, Medium: Ceramics finished with Watercolor and Acrylic Paint

Backbone, Date: April 2021, Dimensions: 19in x 19in x 20in, Medium: Ceramics with Watercolor and Acrylic Paint