I am fascinated with capturing the intangible elements of life in my art as  physical forms, in order  to express the thoughts that I sometimes cannot explain. Through the series, Constant Vision, Fleeting Self, I examine the malleability and fluidity of self-identity, demonstrating that oftentimes the people and environment around you mold into one another and become part of you. The series explores the dialogue of self identity – or lack of – diving into the feeling of being pushed and pulled by surrounding forces. This is illustrated by vague, soft figures, shown with limited information in their features and presented in poses that may allude to struggle, tension and defeat.  Negative spaces play a role in representing the lack of control among the figure while also illustrating a sense of movement that blurs the distinction between the    outside elements and the person depicted.

Even through inevitable change and constant evolution there is an unexplainable force, despite the surrounding chaos, that pulls everything together. This force is represented through the recurring imagery of a lightbulb and a house. A sense of home, a feeling that will guide you through all the confusion and outside influences indistinctly interpreted and understood differently depending on the perspective. Similar to my actual painting process, the pieces reflect the idea that elements of life are always evolving and in flux. The layers that have been painted over, that are no longer visible, are just as important as the outer layers that you can see. By this, the transparency of the broken mark making is a way of expressing my ever-changing identity and the surroundings that make me who I am.

Each piece, focusing on the recurring theme of visual noise amongst the figure, plays its own role in facilitating the symbolism that is drawn throughout. As a whole series, the paintings

and prints work together in cultivating a feeling of constant change in an environment where you might not have control of your surrounding elements. However through this transition, it’s essential to remain grounded, allowing external forces to run its course and influence parts of your identity through the process. The figures throughout each work are symbolic of the embodiment of female identity, one that is constantly adjusting and getting altered by the outside world. It may be from past experiences, relationships with others, and the relationship with the environments where you find yourself  on a daily basis. There are several roles one plays throughout life.  One wears many hats although all identities remain just as true despite their differences. I am a collection of experiences and ideas obtained by interactions with the world around me.

As a reflection of my perspective of life and self-identity, the theme of the work is an outlet to express ever-changing dynamics and how they play a role in the person you become. If there is one thing that is constant, it is the concept that nothing is permanent and we are always evolving and influenced by one another.

The idea of movement and fluidity between self and the background is shown through broken brush strokes in the paintings and as distant mark making in the prints. Lines are used to overlap the foreground and the figure, helping to blend the two elements. As demonstrated in Constant Vision, Fleeting Self 01, the use of monochromatic colors suggests being uncontrollably submerged by the outside world. It’s important to acknowledge the struggles that come with facing the unknown and the uncontrollable.

Despite obstacles, nevertheless, you are shaped as a person and that makes up who you become moving forward. The specific color palette used in each painting varies, with cool tones in the background and warm tones emanating from the figures. In Constant Vision, Fleeting Self 06, the figure is presented sitting, knees bent, reaching out holding a lightbulb. While the  environment is filled with the abstract movement of cool blues and purples, there is a source of warmth, yellows and reds, reflecting from the lightbulb. The environment is both consuming and overwhelming, yet the figures displayed are comforted in their confinement, resigned yet hopeful. 

 

 

The work touches on topics of identity and self-discovery. It questions how the relationship between yourself and your perception of home might change. This message is brought together with the inclusion of the house. At times you might be lost, feeling as if you don’t fully belong to a specific space. The definition of home is not stagnant and is always evolving as you change over time. Yet its principles and values stay still, even through various adjustments and pivots, allowing you to remain true to your core.

Constant Vision, Fleeting Self 05, shows the figure lying on her side, eyes shut, there is a lightbulb floating right above her head.The faint image of a house with darkened windows appears to the right of it. For this piece the symbols remain separate, the sense of light reflecting is very much present to the viewer and the outside world yet the figure is unaware. The house, abandoned and empty, is still visible but covered by the movement and energy in the background.

 

In Constant Vision, Fleeting Self 06, showing the figure, sitting and holding a lightbulb, it is evident that this light is now noticed, it is a turning point in the narration of the series.  This lightbulb, used as a symbol throughout the works represents intuition in oneself. It’s important to note that this light has always been there, reflecting in the background and on the figure.

Yet again, in Constant Vision, Fleeting Self 07, the house is hovering right above the figure which is presented in a child’s pose, vulnerable yet content with the forces of the environment. This is where the two symbols become one; bringing light into the house, but still showing the fleeting appearance of the house as it fades and molds into the outside energy.

Another source of imagery are hands and hand movements. In both Constant Vision, Fleeting Self 10, and Constant Vision, Fleeting Self 09, they share parallels of the same concepts, just portrayed in different media. The overall mood of these pieces show feelings of panic or struggle.

The noise and energy around them are prominent in both, blurring the lines between the figure and the background. In the context of the work as a whole, I believe it’s as important to represent the stages of confusion in self discovery just as much as when you have reached acceptance. The hands featured in Constant Vision, Fleeting Self  08, show hands holding the repeated image of a house.  It takes a different perspective than the other works in which the focus is more towards the hands rather than the entire figure. The print focuses more on the control the hands have on the house. This suggests that you have as much control in the creation of your “home” as you do with the uncontrollable variables in your life.

The imagery in this series, Constant Vision, Fleeting Self, is very broad, allowing others to perceive it in several ways. It purposefully instills the idea that details are not permanent and that mystery and vagueness allow flexibility for change. The elements of life are very much fluid and the connections between others can be very influential to the process of growth as an individual. Within each person, there is a little part of someone else. Reflections, both of light and personality, along with distinct mark making is an ode to the fluidity of life, blurring the lines between self and the rest of the world. Everyone and everything is intertwined, yet there’s always something to guide you through the chaos, despite the seemingly lack of control.