Advisor: Lorena Salcedo-Watson + Ezra Thompson

Paper Tiger /ˌpāpər ˈtīɡər/

noun

A person or thing that appears threatening but is ineffectual

Paper Tigers explores my relationship with creativity and trying to balance the artwork I want to create with the things that will make me successful. I use the aesthetics of the circus, specifically circus animals, to portray the way I feel I am forced to perform. The tigers in this show, Thunder and Lightning, represent the different sides of my creative self. Thunder is docile, easy, and eager to please. He is the side of me willing to ignore my vision and nature to make the things other people will like. Lightning is the opposite. Feral, vicious, and unwilling to comply. She is the side of me that I aim to be more like the side that follows their true nature and makes the things that make sense to them.

I use circus imagery set in the confines of a stationary room to depict my emotions. I feel even though I have stayed in one place my life lacks stability. This creates a feeling of restlessness, similar to how a tiger might feel in their cage. I try to show this feeling through the torn-up nature of many of my pieces. They are ripped to shreds, held together with tape, and forced back up to continue the facade. I no longer want to feel as though I’m performing for others. I have slowly been making the transition from Thunder to Lightning, from passivity to action. I will no longer be the world’s paper tiger.

Many people asked me “Why tigers?” when I discussed the concept for my show with them. I thought of many different animals I could use. Bears for one have been a common theme in a lot of my previous circus-centric works. I also thought about having horses/carousel horses be the star of my show. In the end, however, I settled on the tiger. For one, tigers naturally have markings that are similar to clowns or other circus performers.

The markings of a tiger’s face and a clown’s face are surprisingly similar. Both have white spaces around their eyes and muzzles/mouths. They both have dark outlines around the eyes, making them seem more pronounced. Tigers have a natural “cat eye”, makeup built directly into their patterning DNA. I thought, aesthetically, tigers would be the perfect star for my work. Unlike bears or horses, tigers rarely have to “dress up” for their performances. Rather, their natural markings are the costume.

Other than this, tigers have historically been used in circus and spectacle performances across the US. Popular circuses, such as Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey, used tigers in many of their shows. Ringling only finally retired their tigers in 2017, the animals still being used even after their elephants were freed. Tigers make their appearance outside of the big top tent too. One of the most famous Vegas acts, Siegfried and Roy, used tigers in their acts until 2010. Tigers were trained to do tricks and take part in illusions that took a toll on their well-being. I knew that this also made them a good candidate for my work.

Finally, there is also a history behind trained tigers lashing out at their trainers and other performers due to stress in captivity. The most famous example is that of Siegfried and Roy’s white tiger Montecore. During a performance, Montecore missed his mark and was confused by receiving new directions. This confusion led him to lash out and attack Roy Horn. This is a story that many people are familiar with, even on a topical level, and I thought using tigers in my work would help evoke a sense of nostalgia from my audience.

Introducing…Thunder and Lightning!

Title: Introducing…Thunder and Lightning!, Date: April 2024, Dimensions: 20 x 26 in, Medium: Lihtography

The first piece I created is a lithograph poster titled Introducing…Thunder and Lighting! The poster depicts my two tiger characters standing proudly back to back with each other. Thunder, depicted on the left of the poster, is friendly. I wanted to make him seem joyful. I made Thunder more round and fluffy, to give the sense that he is more fulfilled and happy. He represents the more willing performer, one who is happy to jump through hoops (literally and metaphorically) to be more successful. His paws are held close to his body, paw pads facing in, a sign of submission perhaps to their trainers. Lightning, on the other hand, is a little more angular. Originally, I planned on making Lightning look more aggressive and potentially even gaunt. As I worked through sketches, however, I realized that the imagery of an angry tiger would not fit the purposes of a circus flyer trying to draw in viewers. From then on, I knew I would have to go in a different direction. I decided to show Lightning’s personality in more subtle ways. She is much thinner and more angular than Thunder. I wanted her appearance to be sharp. She is turned to the side, meanwhile, Thunder is facing the audience head-on. She doesn’t have an angry expression, but she looks away from the audience. Her paw pads are out and facing the audience, as if swiping towards them. Both tigers are dressed in festive hats, but only Lightning is wearing a collar. In my mind, this helped hint at the need for Lightning to be more heavily controlled than Thunder. Lastly, I include Lightning’s scar above her eye but minimize it. It is more akin to one of her natural markings or facepaint rather than an injury now, something that circus advertisers might do to try and make her seem more whimsical.

I chose to display a chine-collé version of this image for my show. The stars were cut out from a paper bag one of my friends had brought food to the studio in. As my concept was about how I work as an artist, I knew it would be important to find ways to include pieces of my friends. I do not consider myself a solo act and know I work better in the company of others. This takeout bag was just one of many representing the semesters’ worth of support that I’ve been lucky enough to receive. I also included the repurposed stars rather than having them made from the yellow paper I had originally bought for the job because I liked the old, used look of it. The brown paper helps age the poster a little. The imperfections in the cutting of the stars also give a sense that these posters were quickly and potentially shoddily made. As seen with many of my other works in this series, I choose to work on old, cheap, and often non-archival surfaces to represent not only the nomadic nature of the circus but also the ephemeral nature of art and life.

Image of the full wall where Introducing…Thunder and Lightning! is exhibited

Around this poster, I also included “children’s drawings”. These drawings were created by my friends, family, and reception guests. The images taped around the poster with blue tape were created before my show’s opening by close friends in the studio. I wanted to find some way to give them a special notation. At my show’s reception, I provided guests with paper and different drawing utensils so they could also draw their own tiger “fanart” to place on the wall. Like the stars on my poster, this was meant to give the important people in my life a place in my show. Along with this, having “children’s drawings” implies a sense of stability, making the sitting room seem more stationary. I try to juxtapose this movement and/or lack thereof to show the chaotic nature of my creative self and my life in general. I often find myself in the same places, stationary, yet nothing ever stays the same. This lack of constancy has made me restless, like a tiger in her cage, and has led me to need to lash out.

Having people draw for my show also plays into the performance aspect of my concept. Being an undergrad doing art classes, there is a pressure to constantly be producing. I have found that this mindset often hurts my creativity rather than bolstering it. I invited people to be creative and draw but gave them all the same prompt: Draw a Tiger. The room was pressured to keep drawing tigers throughout the reception, even if they didn’t particularly like the idea of drawing a tiger. If they wanted to perform well and be “exhibited” in the show they would have to follow the instructions. Throughout my time as an art student at Stony Brook, I often felt like I was part of a circus, forced to perform tricks that I might not necessarily be qualified to do or even want to do. I think while this activity was fun and showed my appreciation for my friends and family, it also gave them a glimpse into how my work has felt since the beginning of my undergraduate career.

Breaking News!

Title: Breaking News!, Date: April 2024, Dimensions: 78 x 36 in, Medium: Ink Drawing

Breaking News! Depicts Lightning, mouth open in a snarl but posture generally non-threatening. Her ears are pinned back, showing that she feels threatened or scared. I wanted to use this piece to talk about Lightning’s unfortunate ending at the hands of the people who supposedly were taking care of her. I didn’t want to include too much text throughout my works, as I wanted the pieces to tell a story that the audience could unravel and interpret themselves. I did, however, feel that it was important for this aspect of the story.

Image detail of Breaking News!

The breaking news section of the text gives a very brief description of Lightning lashing out and killing her trainer. While it doesn’t go too far into details about the attack, I made sure to include that people “have no ideas as to why” Lightning would attack someone. The system causing her to feel trapped doesn’t take responsibility for her resulting actions. This sets up the question of “What happens to Lightning next?” which is later addressed by the centerpiece of the room.

Image detail of Breaking News!

Image detail of Breaking News!

The text over and to the left of Lightning is the only instance of the show’s name in the body of work. These are declarations, from both Lightning and myself, that we will no longer bend to the wills of those around us. Rather than being all bark and no bite, a paper tiger, we will carry out the things that feel natural to us. For Lightning, this comes in the form of release from the chains of the circus. She no longer has to perform for the masses and instead can just be a tiger. For me, my release comes in the form of finally accepting myself as an artist and creating the things I want to make, rather than the things others think I should make. I am not a female artist. I am not a neuropergent artist. I am just an artist. If I decide to make art relating to my identities that’s okay, but I no longer will be forced into making art that is expected of said identity.

 Lightning Skin Rug

Title: Lighting Skin Rug, Date: April 2024, Dimensions: 150 x 80 in, Medium: Oil Painting

The central piece of my show depicts the unfortunate fate of Lightning. In this story, after lashing out at her trainer, she is killed and turned into a rug to be displayed in said trainer’s home. I knew from the start that this was a piece I wanted to create. The painting is done on unstretched pieces of canvas, made up of separate pieces that allow Lightning’s arms, legs, head, and tail, to be positioned in different ways.

Reference image of a tiger skin rug

I wanted to subvert the customs of taxidermy in this piece to show that while the death of this tiger is sad, it is also in a sense her freedom. Traditionally, animals are stuffed to look violent. This is to show that the hunter who took down the beast is brave and skilled. In real life, however, many if not all of these animals rarely looked like this when they were taken down. I believe that it is a disservice to rip the peace from these animals in death to make them a ferocious decoration. I decided to paint Lightning with a happier, almost satisfied look on her face. It gives the sense that she is dreaming peacefully, rather than a beast on the prowl. She knows that even though she had to die, she is now free from an exhausting life of performing for others.

Thunder

Title: Thunder, Date: April 2024, Dimensions: 18 x 54 in, Medium: Linoleum Print

My large linoleum print features Thunder. Even though Thunder isn’t the central character in my show, I am most proud of this piece. I have been developing my carving methods for my lino blocks. I separate my image into different sections, then cut following the contours of these sections. The result is a subject made of organic contour lines. This is my largest linoleum print to date, measuring 24”x54” (made up of three 18”x24” sheets of lino). This print depicts Thunder sitting next to his trainer’s torn-up chair. Thunder is the ideal image of a tiger. He sits obedient and proud. I wanted to give him a more realistic and intense look than his poster image. This image of Thunder represents the show. This persona is a polished image created by the trainer and maintained by him. Across from this scene, I had a different iteration of the same print.

Title: Thunder, Torn, Date: April 2024, Dimensions: 18 x 54 in, Medium: Multimedia Linoleum Print

In this version, Thunder is torn around the edges, literally bursting at the seams with stuffing. The pieces are puzzled together and held up with flimsy tape. This image of Thunder represents the act. Even though Thunder plays along and receives success because of it, keeping on the facade is exhausting. This is often how I feel when I find myself trying to create artwork solely for others rather than for myself and my own creative image.

Overall, my show came together very well. I think that with the time I was given, I was able to create a body of work that portrays how I have been feeling as a student of the arts. As I continued through this process, I found myself becoming more confident in my abilities. I was no longer taking every single critique people gave me to try to appease them. I took what was beneficial to me and made the artwork that I wanted to see. I think throughout the progress of the show I transitioned, moving from passive Thunder to active Lightning. If I had more time I would want to create more interactive pieces for the show, things like photo albums and newspapers to place around the room so viewers could feel more immersed in the installation. Besides that, however, I am happy with how my show turned out.

I leave this project and Stony Brook with new perspectives on my place in the world as an artist. I understand now that it is important that the work I create makes me happy before anyone else. When people viewed my show, I was met with endless support and people saying they liked the unique way I approach printing and painting. I realized that an audience will come to me; people who need to see my work and feel something will see it. I hope that as I continue creating outside of school I can continue to become more confident in myself. I will no longer be the Paper Tiger. I will be claws. I will be teeth. I will be Lightning.