“What Was I Scared Of?” by Dr. Seuss

Well…I was walking in the night and I saw nothing scary. For I have never been afraid of anything. Not very.

Then I was deep within the woods when, suddenly, I spied them. I saw a pair of pale gray pants with nobody inside them! I wasn’t scared. But, yet, I stopped. What could those pants be there for? What could a pair of pants at night be standing in the air for?

And then they moved! Those empty pants! They kind of started jumping. And then my heart, I must admit, it kind of started thumping.So I got out. I got out fast; as fast as I could go, sir. I wasn’t scared. But pants like that I do not care for. No, sir.

After that, a week went by. Then one dark night in Grin-itch (I had to do an errand there and fetch some Grin-itch spinach)… Well, I had fetched the spinach. I was starting back through town when those pants raced round a corner and they almost knocked me down! I lost my Grin-itch spinach but I didn’t even care. I ran for home! Believe me, I had really had a scare! Now, bicycles were never made for pale gray pants to ride ’em, especially spooky pale gray pants with nobody inside ’em!

And the NEXT night, I was fishing for Doubt-trout on Roover River; when those pants came rowing toward me! Well, I started in to shiver. And by now I was SO frightened that I’ll tell you, but I hate to… I screamed and rowed away and lost my hook and line and bait, too!

I ran and found a Brickel bush. I hid myself away. I got brickels in my britches but I stayed there anyway. I stayed all night. The next night, too. I’d be there still, no doubt, but I had to do an errand so, the next night, I went out.

I had to do an errand, had to pick a peck of Snide in a dark and gloomy Snide-field that was almost nine miles wide. I said, “I do not fear those pants with nobody inside them.” I said, and said, and said those words. I said them. But I lied them.

Then I reached inside a Snide bush and the next thing that I knew, I felt my hand touch someone! And I’ll bet that you know who.

And there I was! Caught in the Snide! And in that dreadful place, those spooky, empty pants and I were standing face to face! I yelled for help. I screamed. I shrieked. I howled. I yowled. I cried, “Oh, save me from these pale gray pants with nobody inside!”

But then a strange thing happened. Why, those pants began to cry! Those pants began to tremble. They were just as scared as I! I never heard such whimpering, and I began to see that I was just as strange to them as they were strange to me!

I put my arm around their waist and sat right down beside them. I calmed them down. Poor empty pants with nobody inside them.

And, now, we meet quite often, those empty pants and I, and we never shake or tremble. We both smile and we say “Hi!”