“Person” Reflection on John Mendis (My Twin)

              I know you said for this assignment to pick a “mature” adult, but the first person that ran through my mind was my twin brother. He may be the same age as me but trust me when I say that he acts a lot older and more mature than most adults. “Mature” to me is someone who is very set in their principles and behaviors, but acknowledges and appreciates other people’s principles and behaviors. My brother to me fits that description as does many “mature” adults do in my life like my mom, my dad, and my favorite English teacher in high school. Honestly, by the end of this reflection if I had not told you that this boy was eighteen years old you would have never known. My brother to be ” honest is an “old guy” and he even proclaims it every moment we are home. As I was asking him for a song he said that many songs could fit his personality and his life but the one he thought of the most was Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s in a Cradle”.

          I really had no idea what this song was until my brother said mentioned it to me when I asked him. It’s strange because the song is about a Dad who is so involved in his work that he neglects having time for his son. There is a constant repetition in the song of the lyric “I’m gonna be like him, yeah, You know I’m gonna be like him”. This lyric to me is really sad because despite all the times this Dad neglects his son, the son still wants to be like his Dad in every way possible.

       I asked my brother why he picked such a sad song and he gave me two reasons. He said that in his life my Dad was always there for him and often many times would put his work off in order to be their for his children. However, since my brother often thinks far ahead in his life, he worries that one day he will have a kid and not be there for him/her. He worries because he thinks realistically and knows that  in the line of work he’s going into that you can’t put off work and make excuses even if it is for someone you love. The second reason why he picked this song is to be a reminder that even though he realizes and acknowledges that this may occur in his future that he can change that even though he may need time and experience to figure it out.

    My brother told me that his favorite lyric comparison in the song is between the stanza,

“I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job’s a hassle and kids have the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad
It’s been sure nice talking to you”

and the lyric, “I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, Dad, We’re gonna have a good time then”. He said the reason why is that is showcases that the way the Dad treated his son ended up being the way the son treated the Dad. After years of neglecting and ignoring his son the time that the Dad wants the son’s attention the son is too busy and caught up in his work and life. Comparing that sentiment to the last lyric is really sad because the Dad realizes his son will neglect him how he did and the only time that they will get to spend together is when they die hence the lyric “I don’t know when”. My brother likes this comparison because it’s rational and real and ultimately showcases that sometimes life, money, and a job can separate you from the things that matter in life like friends, family, and loved ones.

          Through this reflection I learned a lot about a song I really didn’t know and gained a deeper understanding of why my brother acts like an “old guy”. I guess all these years I thought that my brother acted this way because he felt a need to be more mature than everyone he was surrounded by. In reality, my brother is just someone who thinks very rationally and logically and really doesn’t see the present and much as sees his future. It’s good to have someone like this is my life because I aspire to be a bit more logically in my thinking patterns. Even though that is true I hope in some ways I can teach my brother that he does not have to be so logical, mature, and like an “old guy”. I hope to teach my brother that even though his thinking is good that he is still young and he has his whole life to be “old” and this small window to be truly young and free.

Works Cited

         Harry Chapin. Cat’s in a Cradle. Paul Leka, n.d. CD.

Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/harrychapin/catsinthecradle.html