Dear Gene I. Usse,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading through your research paper on automation and how it will affect society, mostly being through unemployment. As a whole, I believe you used a lot of very relevant sources, convincing evidence, and thought out reasoning to drive home your point that automation will drastically increase the number of unemployed citizens. The addition of how it specifically affects many people as well as a way to fix the unemployment were also parts that I felt were necessary in a paper like this and further gave you credibility by solidifying your depth of research and strengthened your argument. The sources were well introduced in the beginning of the sentences, giving almost every quote or paraphrase a proper introduction that made the paper overall flow better. On top of this, you also introduced most of your sources with their credentials before the quote or paraphrase as well. This further built upon their credibility to be truthful sources and thus made your paper more credible as well. These characteristics of thought out uses of sources, well worked reasoning, and good credibility work together to make for an excellent research paper.
Although, this does not mean that it is perfect; there are still a few critiques that can be made about the paper. The thesis, for example, can be more specific about what the paper deals with, being mostly about unemployment. This would allow the reader to better expect what is to come in this paper. Also, the introduction paragraph seems a tad long, being a full-page long. Although, this can also be justified by the amount of background information needed on this topic. This also can help to describe why the thesis was short and general rather than long and more specific.
All together though, this was a well put together and thought out paper that did great on getting its point across credibly while informing the reader all the way. You did a totally radical job! 10/10!
Sincerely,
James Sam
They’ve already started by taking jobs from Ice Cream Men