By making this album of records, I discovered that I had no friends when I was in college, but now I have many. First, I was reluctant to communicate when I was a freshman. Second, I found that there are very few people in the US with the same interests and hobbies as myself. When I came to this conclusion, I wanted to explore more about the definition and function and classification discussion of friendship between people. Friendship is defined and developed in various disciplines. Characteristics of friendship, such as equality, consensuality, and shared experience, can be found in both psychology and sociology. Philosophers can support the idea that friendship is what makes people happy and happy.

In psychology, the definition of friendship is that voluntary relationship between two or more people that is relatively long-lasting and in which those involved tend to be concerned with meeting the others’ needs and interests as well as satisfying their own desires. Friendships frequently develop through shared experiences in which the people involved learn that their association with one another is mutually gratifying (APA Dictionary of Psychology, 2022). As can be seen from the definition of friendship in psychology, shared experiences are very important for mutual understanding and friendship. In my project, I recorded our common experience. This is something necessary to develop friendships. I also summed up the reason I used to have no friends, because I was too introverted and didn’t want to communicate with people. I spend most of my time alone in the dorm. This is missing the important condition of forming friendship with others which is shared experience.

The characteristics of friendship are personal, voluntary and equal. James Vela-McConnll examines the meaning of friendship from a sociological perspective. Friendship and marriage are both close relationships for a person. But their difference is that the friendship between the two is not protected by any law. The friendship of two people can start and end freely. Equality is very important among friends. Equality here includes social status, economic power, race, social background and mutual respect. This may explain why people with a common background are more likely to be friends. For example, people with similar family backgrounds are more likely to form friendships because their cultures and perspectives are similar. Their communication and communication is smooth. An imbalance can ruin a friendship. The environment we live in determines the kind of people we can reach. Social environments limit our equal access to others, such as work, school settings, communities, and social networks (Vela-McConnell, 2017). I can understand these environments as my comfort zone. Few people are willing to step out of their comfort zone to meet friends who are very different from themselves. Our environment creates a wall within which we can easily find people who are similar to us and develop friendships more easily. People are more likely to associate with people who have homogeneity when they have more options (Feld, 1982). This led me to reflect. I like Chinese traditional culture. Obviously, most international students are more interested in Western culture. So my thoughts and hobbies limit my access to more people. 

Friendship can be divided into three categories. All three have different characteristics due to their different pursuits and purposes. In the Nicomachean Ethics, the philosopher Aristotle’s point is that friendship and partnership are very important for living well. He divides friendships into three categories, which are friendships of utility, friendships of pleasure and friendships of the good. The first friendship is based on interests such as money and power. This kind of friendship is that the two people in it are unequal, so this kind of friendship will not last long. This camaraderie is a means of obtaining benefits. For example, a person goes to make friends in order to obtain investment, to gain business interests. This friendship is volatile and short-lived. When he gets an investment, or his goals change, that friendship doesn’t exist either. The second kind of friendship exists for pleasure. Such friends can be happy by doing things together. This friendship is no longer a means, but an end in itself. Both friends must have the same interests and hobbies, which allows them to enjoy and share the same happiness. The friendships of pleasure are more stable than friendships of utility. But Aristotle mentioned that the change in pleasure is rapid. When their interests changed, so did their friendships. He believes that the essence of friendships of utility and friendships of pleasure is self-love, which means that oneself likes to get pleasure and benefits. For example, when I played a game, I met a lot of friends who played the game a dozen times. But when I stopped playing this game, my friendship with them faded away. We’re not in touch now, even though it’s fun when we play games together. The friendship of the good means that friends appreciate each other’s inner qualities and respect and understand each other. They have the same values. This is the most stable kind of friendship. This friendship can make us better people.

Friendships can make people happy because friends can provide emotional value. We can talk to our friends about our emotions. Because only in the face of close friends, people can show their true emotions and feelings. You can tell the other person your sadness or anger. According to the English philosopher Francis Bacon’s Of Friendship, a true friend acts as a secondary valve for the heart to pump life into a sick person (Bacon, 1625). If we have no friendship, we lose our vitality. It’s like the heart loses momentum. This is because close interactions with friends can give people support, which can fill us with courage and hope. It also breathes life into our lives.

In conclusion, friendship is a feeling that can make people energized. It requires equal communication and mutual respect. People with similar social backgrounds are more likely to develop friendships, including having similar families, hobbies, community settings and schools. Aristotle proposed three types of friendship. The first friendships of utility, which are friendships based on interests. Such friendships are easily changeable and short-lived. The second is friendships of pleasure, which is based on sharing pleasure. This friendship is more permanent and stable than the first, but it still changes. The third, and most advanced, friendship he recognizes is called friendships of the good. This kind of friendship helps people to know and improve themselves. This is also one of the necessary conditions for will life.

 

References

Feld, Scott L. “Social Structural Determinants of Similarity Among Associates.” American Sociological Review, vol. 47, no. 6, American Sociological Association, 1982, pp. 797–801, https://doi.org/10.2307/2095216.

Aristotle, Taylor, C., Aristotle., Aristotle. and Aristotle., n.d. Nicomachean ethics.

Bacon, F., 1625. Of Friendship.

Dictionary.apa.org. 2022. APA Dictionary of Psychology. [online] Available at: <https://dictionary.apa.org/friendship> [Accessed 12 May 2022].

Vela-McConnell, J., 2017. The Sociology of Friendship. The Cambridge Handbook of Sociology,.