How to make Banana Pudding,
Featuring my housemates
One for $3, Two for $5
John, can you help cut some bananas?
Yeah, one second, after my photography project.
…
Housemate 1, the valorant player.
“To succeed you must fail.
Run it down.
Wait I have a new quote. Wendy’s or Taco Bell at 1 am?”
…
Housemate 2, the banana pudding girl:
“Whatever happens, happens because everything happens for a reason.
Don’t eat something you didn’t make. I don’t like people that work slow.
At some point, you just gotta stop caring.”
…
Housemate 3, El Brian:
“I was getting sad and depressed. A friend told me nothing really matters that much.
*pauses*
I was like, I guess you’re right. He didn’t tell me everything was ok, just that it doesn’t matter that much.
Thank you for lending me your Bugatti John! I parked it in your second garage next to the Lambo yesterday while you were performing open heart surgery on both of my grandparents at the same time.
Don’t drop bananas.
Free Hong Kong.”
…
Housemate 4, the meow meow:
“A quote? I’m right, you’re wrong.
This whole time recycling is Wednesday night?!
Free China.
Isn’t this fridge a whiteboard?
*opera noises with housemate 3*
I always put in 3%.”
…
Housemate 3:
“That’s consistently shit.”
…
Banana pudding.