I was taken back instantly by this writing prompt to what video I watched at orientation along with my other ITS freshmen. It was a video about sexual assault, which is the kind of assault talked about in Maribel’s story. One striking image was that of a person lying unconscious on the floor while another stands over them, pouring tea down their throats. In this kind of instance, I think it will be most helpful if someone else uses humor to make the assaulter look idiotic. Most harassment doesn’t necessarily require the use of force to make them stop, because they are intrinsically motivated. Therefore they must be intrinsically persuaded.

Although I have been part of an intervention as recently as last week, nothing fruitful came of my telling the “authorities.” Unfortunately, not all situations are able to be settled out by a third party, especially if the assault has already taken place. The girl was taunted by vulgar verbal comments, and the boys were just walking away, laughing among each other, as if their mouths weren’t connected to their brains. The fact that the object of their “desire” was also walking away from them in the opposite direction did not seem to be of importance to them; after all, assault is in the fabric of the music videos they watch when they eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day.

When I told the residence hall advisor what had happened, she and her friend said there was nothing they could do unless she also reported the incident. So it turns out that bystanders have limited power when it comes to influencing the outcome of a potentially damaging event. Our society is a strange mix of acting Big Brother, being friendly to strangers, and being nonchalant about issues relating to all teenagers.

So next time I’m talking to the residence hall director, not advisors, who are just young people like me who probably are those same nonchalant people I talked about. Sometimes all it is is confiding to someone you find more agreeable than the alternative.