Until they kick me out for pedestrian math scores, I’m in Area of Interest for Chemical Engineering. Like most other engineering majors here at SBU, you require about 30000 credits to graduate. I have thirty AP credits coming in from my high school, most of which cover some of my Stony Brook graduation requirements. That doesn’t directly relieve any of the math/science pressure but it does mean I don’t have to deal with many humanities classes. That being said there are a few major factors I think about when making my class.

Location:

I live on campus, but I have a car and I’m very close to the school. When I schedule, I like to concentrate classes with large time chunks empty so I can go to my local doctor if I have to, or so I can help a friend or family member out. I have strong ties to my home town, and I don’t commute, but I like to have some times in the week available to visit friends or have dinner with my family. Additionally, being this close means I can take winter and summer classes if I have to without having to stay on campus. To me that makes them fairly viable options, and gives me more leeway in how hard I load my course up this spring. I am more than willing to take a summer course, or multiple summer courses, but I’m only going to take one during the winter if it’s required for my graduation progression.

Major:

I have to consider my major when I take into account my schedule- that almost goes without saying. My major, like scholars, has a GPA requirement. Its requirement is a 3.2, so I it’s risky to take a bunch of impossible classes and sink my grade. On the other hand, there are some difficult classes I have to take to be a part of the major to begin with, so it’s a balancing act really. I could raise my GPA by adding classes in subjects I was traditionally exceptional at in high school (history, literature, etc.), but the work of having more credits will probably bring my GPA down more than if I didn’t have them. It makes more sense for me to focus on the tough classes that make my life miserable.

Those are really the two main things I’ve been taking into consideration for spring scheduling. As of this writing I am currently taking fifteen credits in the spring, and four are lab and writing 102, so I think my schedule is fairly balanced. Only time will tell if it kicks my teeth in or not.

I had a pretty strange set of feelings regarding this little test. I was surprised by the results; but I was expecting to be surprised by the results. From what I’ve seen. you often don’t need to be an exact match for a job major-wise to get it. In a lot of places, most of what you do for a particular line of work is learned on the job, and your education is a template and a qualification more than a guide or manual. So I really wasn’t surprised when a bunch of humanities undergrads became doctors or lawyers. Honestly if I were premed, I’d do the same thing. GPA matters a ton when you’re trying to get into med school; why sacrifice it taking calc or physics?

Personally, I don’t really have much of a plan for the rest of college. I’m taking a major I’m interested in, but my odds of being accepted into it aren’t fantastic. They aren’t bad, but it’s very far from a sure thing, far enough that I don’t feel entirely comfortable. I understand what my major entails, and I like it, so my difficulty isn’t in my decision but in my ability to follow through with said decision. Already I have a major scheduling conflict I’m trying to work out, and if I fail to do so, the boat may already be sunk. So I may be scouting out a new major myself in due time, if everything continues to conspire against me.

If I don’t get into chemical engineering, I’m not sure what I would take instead. The most obvious next choice would be just a vanilla Chem degree, which has significantly easier requirements and lies in the same world as my original choice. But I’m not sure if I want to do bench work or theoretical chemistry. I’m not even sure if I would stay in the sciences if I couldn’t do CME. I’d stay in STEM, I would just seek out something more related to the TEM, because most of the other major science fields bore me to oblivion.

The major test did surprise me, but about as much as I expected it to. It also did a wonderful job of sparking my major/scheduling anxiety which is in absolute full swing right now. I think I have a decent direction of what I want to do in college, and I don’t see myself as a chronic major swapper. I don’t have everything set in stone, but rather in wet concrete that still has pliability, but is losing the pliability fast.

I think gender and gender identity have real effects on the lives of just about everyone. These effects are often subtle, and can be positive or negative depending on how you align with them. I’ve generally found positives in being male, considering I fit a lot of male career stereotypes and do, for lack of better word, enjoy being a dude. But I think it’s good to take some time and reflect on my life and see how my gender has had an influence.

I grew up in a household with only brothers, and I was an am still smaller than them and more academically inclined than they are. I played a lot of sports when I was young, and I was absolutely terrible at all of them. I was clumsy, weak, and had horrible depth perception because of my double vision. Both of my brothers were football players, and there was always this pressure to be good at some kind of sport or physical activity, and my lack of ability to do so hurt my self worth a bit. I didn’t really fit the masculine athletic trope that most of my friends did, and I ended up drifting away from a lot of my peers from early childhood. This wasn’t entirely imposed on me by society; but sometimes I do wonder how I might have grown up had that expectation, or at least my perception of there being one, didn’t exist.

But in others ways I did fit the typical assumed male pattern rather well, especially as I got into high school. I was really into science and online gaming, and both of them, especially the latter, were pursuits with extremely high proportions of men. I took for granted that these things felt normal and right to do, and I hadn’t really considered how other people of different genders might not be as comfortable in the same situations. I’ve been on the internet a lot, and I can certainly see how women could feel uncomfortable in chat rooms or in games. There’s that non face-to-face aspect of the internet that emboldens people to act like scum, and trying to play a game or post on a forum that’s 90%+ male if you aren’t one is often unpleasant. I was spared all of that, simply by being a male, and it didn’t occur to me that that was the case until a while after.

Gender has shaped my experiences, in a way, it shapes everyone’s. For some people, seeing others act unlike assumed gender roles is discomforting because it doesn’t fit in with the thought patterns they’ve learned for most of their lives. I don’t think being uncomfortable with that, at least at first, makes a person malicious at all; it’s a normal reaction to something new. But when that discomfort causes people to go out of their way to try and change the ways other people live, it becomes a problem in our society. Regardless, I maintain relentless optimism that we can help people see outside that cognitive bubble they’ve become entrapped in.

Before I even begin to write this I will admit that this is a murky and confusing topic for me. I haven’t experienced any discrimination due to race, and my hometown and school had very little for me to witness. So I don’t really understand the impact these things have or severity of them. The micro aggressions we saw in the videos I definitely have not seen, ever actually. Maybe they happen in shadowy corners I generally stray away from, or maybe they are prevalent in some other part o the country.

Have I seen some minor micro aggressions? Yes, I have. But to be honest, the most common place to find them is on television. Stereotypes in TV shows, news coverage depicting racial groups in unfair lights, comedy shows, etc. People don’t act like that in real life. Is it possible, even likely, that we’ve all said something that insults a group by accident, or had a negative or unfair perception of someone based off a stereotype? I certainly think so, we may have done it and don’t even remember it now. I think the presentation is a good idea for new students just to expose them to the idea, and make them more conscious of their words.

I’m going to keep this shorter than most because I really don’t have much to say on the subject. I try my best not to commit micro aggressions. None or few have happened to me, and to be honest I have a sick liking to jokes at my expense anyway so I personally probably wouldn’t care to much. I think it is good that the university does its best to educate people and stop the phenomena.

I’m going to be as straight forward as possible with my opinion on this one. I did not like the commons day event. Don’t get me wrong, my issue isn’t with the author, her presentation, or her message. I found the speech she gave to be uplifting and kind without sounding condescending or preachy, which isn’t easy. I wasn’t a huge fan of her novel, but even that wasn’t the problem I had with the event. My dispute was the fact that it was mandatory, and if you bear with me, I have some arguments as to why that is a poor idea.

First off, I will admit my personal bias before I even embark. I hate being forced to do things. It’s probably part of my personality, but I think a lot of it is due to the forced assemblies I remember from high school. Work doesn’t bother me, writing a report on what I saw like this doesn’t bother me. These are my normal, regular duties, and I signed up for them, and things similar to them, out of my own accord. So this is mandatory too, but not in the same way. My issue is when you start mixing forced attendance/participation with the proliferation of an idea.

I don’t have an issue with her ideals. If anything, I think that they should be more widespread, and I’m pleased with how prevalent they are here at Stony Brook. But in my opinion, when you force people to go to an event like this, when you hold their other interests in education and career progression hostage, even only a tiny bit hostage, you devalue your message. If you hear something that you’re forced to hear, it often has less meaning to you, and it makes you question if that ideal or value is right, or if you simply believe it due to having heard it so many times.

Perhaps I am alone in this sentiment, but there’s a chance I’m not. You won’t change people’s minds by making them listen to speakers or go to assemblies about tolerance or acceptance. If anything, forcing people to hear conflicting ideals just makes them more hostile against them. It creates an internal them against I kind of feeling that leads to a rejection of the values presented by others. I know the other reason this was mandatory was so that the author would come out to a large audience.

Forcing an audience for the sake of having one doesn’t really have much to do with the message, but it personally strikes me as a bit dishonest. There are plenty of Seawolves who would have gladly come to this event on their own impetus, had it been open to everyone and not just that part of the Class of 2020. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about attentiveness or audience participation, because everyone there would have wanted to be there.

I really do like what what she had to say, and I think it never hurts to be reminded that other people have beautiful, rich, and unique lives. But by cattle prodding hundreds of disinterested people into a stadium and making them listen, you do your cause more harm than good. It evokes memories of high school, where speakers were brought in on behalf of administration and almost always ignored. Good speakers with meaningful messages shouldn’t be ignored, and a captive audience almost guarantees that result.

I hope that future events take this into consideration a bit more, and remember that the best ideals are spread by kindness and example, through living a life that other people can look upon with admiration. Those every day actions will change minds, not an endless stream of disappointed card swiping students.

There’s a quote I’m rather fond of. I’m not sure who came up with it, if any one person did, but it’s fantastic nonetheless. – “I want my group members to put my casket in the ground when I die, so they can let me down one last time.”

I don’t agree with that sentiment entirely, but there have been some definite issues with group work I’ve received in high school. For one, the projects were short. Very short. A week or two, maybe almost a month at most, and they would almost usually end with little to no collaboration, and one person just shouldering most of the effort themselves. I think short projects are doomed to fail, especially when the people within said group are strangers. To get comfortable and work at an acceptable and optimal level it is necessary to know and be secure with the people around you. They don’t have to be your friends, but you should know them well enough to not worry about the social dynamics too much. In a group where everyone is foreign to each-other, people are far less likely to share their ideas openly.

Another factor that makes or breaks the group experience is the composition of the group itself. This is where things get a little dicey, because ideal groups with ideal people rarely exist, and when they do, it’s usually not for very long. But what is an ideal composition? An ensemble of friends is almost as doomed to fail as it is with strangers. While there are strong social connections, there is often a lack of work ethic and professionalism. I wouldn’t say that this is always the case, especially as we get older and learn to fool around less, but it happens often enough that I would generally advise against it. You should be able to relate to, understand, and feel comfortable around your group members, but they shouldn’t be close friends or complete strangers.

So it’s with some despair that I share my personal experience; I’ve been a part of very few good groups, and have been a part of a multitude of horrific ones. I’m hoping that college will change that, as the people I’ve met so far here at Stony are considerably more cooperative and level headed than the average person I knew in high school. So far I’ve been rather pleased with the groups I’m in this class and in my hall council for Drieser. I’m hoping this trend continues rather than regresses, and that I can revoke the statements made earlier in this paragraph and in this essay. I think that hard working, productive groups are a long shot, but they can and do happen, and when that intermingling of chance and creativity occurs, the results are wonderful.

I’ve actually had a number of situations where I’ve been forced to make a decision and intervene quickly. These events are highly personal though, and I would be uncomfortable describing them in anything but general terms. But I understand the situations the author has described. People say your character is determined by what you do when no one is watching. That is false. Your character is determined when you have to act morally in the face of fear or risk.

I’ve never had to intervene in behalf of a stranger, partially because my school and home town were very safe and rather friendly. I would like to believe I would help a total stranger at risk to myself but really I don’t know what I would do. In all the situations I’ve been in I’ve had to act to help a friend or loved one. In those situations its easy. Generally I have a very even temper, but I get really angry, emotional and even irrational at a threat towards a friend.

For the most part, I have acted to help, and I’ve had to overcome some personal fears of my own to do so. But just once I was lazy, selfish, and indifferent. I was so consumed with my own meaningless issues that I didn’t help a friend when they needed it most. I have to live with that decision, and the consequences of it, for the rest of my life.

So am I an active bystander? With strangers, I’m not totally sure, with those close to me I am 99% of the time. But 99% is not enough, and I would do well to remind myself of what happened as a result the next time I see something harmful happening to a stranger. I’ve intervened, but not as much as I should have. I think that sentiment applies to most of us though.

The time I spent in school before college is radically different from the experience I’ve had here at SBU so far. The vector of life I followed for eighteen years has bent sharply in the last few weeks, but in a way that I believe is good for me. Given what I know so far, I’ll do my best to create a hypothetical chronicle of my time here.

Looking at the academics, I currently hope to get a Master’s in CME, which in itself is a very difficult and trying task. I want to get good grades and gain the credentials and knowledge to have a productive and comfortable adult life. But really, that’s what everyone in college wants, and to use it as the center of my experience would be a generic cop-out. To me college isn’t just about that, or even mostly about that. If college was only educational in nature, it would essentially be grades 13-16.

I want to use my four years here as an opportunity not to transform myself, not redefine myself, but to achieve a better version of myself. We can change the way we treat others with a lot less effort than most people expect. The hard part is changing how you treat yourself. I’m hoping this time turns me into more of an adult, someone with less fear, more independence, sharpened social skills. I like who I am, but that doesn’t mean I’m at my best. I don’t think anyone is truly always at their best. I’ve seen the best version of myself, and I’d like to be that person all the time, not just sometimes. That’s my main objective of college.

How can I achieve these academic and personal goals? To be honest I didn’t do a great job of studying or focusing in high school. I stuck to what interested me and neglected the things that didn’t. I can’t do that anymore. I have to face my weaknesses, namely math, and also motivation. The university offers services to that nature, and I might take advantage of them. But I also have close friends who are strong in those areas, and I might seek help and consul from them.

If I look back at graduation, and I see that I’ve been a positive influence on others, that would be a point of pride for me. The only thing equal to the satisfaction from that would be the growth and maturation of myself as a person, the person I’ve always wanted to see in the mirror. The academics are easy; you just work. The other things are what I’m hoping to reach.

1. I would like to learn how to get past my social awkwardness around new people and groups. I get reclusive when I’m uncomfortable, and I’d like to try and learn to change that.
2. I’m starting to believe that fundraising and charity events are more of an art form than anything else. I’ve participated in them, but I’m hoping to discover what makes them “tick”.
3. Maybe not something I want to learn persay, but I do want the opportunity to write and express myself a little bit. I didn’t have the time to do much with liberal arts this semester, and I like writing as an expressive outlet.

Hello all, my name is Nicholas Panico and I’m a freshman at SBU here in the scholars program. My hopeful major is chemical and molecular engineering, and this scholar class is the only course in my schedule that is not about math or science. I’ve been gunning to come to school here for a few years now, as this school has always been cheap, strong on science, and very close to home.

My home, the one that isn’t here at SBU, is in a small town twenty minutes away called Miller Place. If you aren’t from Long Island, all you really need to know is that it’s in close proximity to Port Jefferson. I come from a family of five, and I am rather close to them, so my ability to remain near them was a deciding factor in selecting this college. If I don’t visit home enough, my dog or my brother will claim my bed, and to be honest I’m still rather fond of it.

I am excited about this coming academic year. Like almost everyone around me, this is the first time I’ve had to be really responsible for my time and for my actions. There’s a certain element of fear and apprehension that accompanies it, but that makes it all the more thrilling. The more unknown the situation, the more you can uncover about your personality and abilities. To me, this isn’t about leaving your comfort zone, but learning to expand it to new situations.

I hope this was concise enough for any who may be reading it, and I look forward to my time in this course. I hope all of the good things I’ve heard can be validated personally quite soon. For whomever exactly I’m addressing (all the scholars?, some?, none?), I anticipate that we will share some good times.