Roland Miller – Intimate Relationship

The advantage of this book is that in a systematic, complete, and scientific way, it answers my confusion about love and has a more comprehensive understanding of intimate relationships. The book’s accurate understanding and explanation of the common phenomena and commonalities of human intimacy give me a more comprehensive and profound new understanding. The experience of observing and summing up one’s own past life has been verified, the concept of listening and speaking has been changed, the rationality of cognition has been improved, and the vision of life has been broadened.

Reading notes

The search for true and eternal intimacy is really a search for self.
The real motivation behind starting and maintaining an intimate relationship is really about needs.
Emotions come from the basic human need to “love and be loved”.
The two main needs of children are to belong and to affirm their importance. (If needs are not met, they can become frustrated and lead to some kind of deviant behavior).
Expectations are the road to hell because they keep out loving feelings of acceptance and freedom.
We must all understand one thing: what we really need, no one can give or make us happy.
The purpose of expectations is to get needs met.
Expectations = Predecessor of Anger.
When faced with dissatisfaction in an intimate relationship, begin by asking yourself, “What do I want from the other person at this moment?” (Understanding your needs is a very important thing).
Imagination brings possibilities, and possibilities determine what we can see.
Everything in the world is in our minds.
Understanding that by not imposing your needs on your partner, you can find what you really need within yourself. (Get rid of the comfort of need and learn to let go of acceptance).