In the past, gender has defined societal roles for many. In modern times, gender no longer has such a huge impact on the lives of people. Men and women are perceived to fulfill their roles in society whether that is to play the dominant position in the family or be the caretaker of the kids in the family. In Charles Blow’s memoir, Fire Shut Up in My Bones, Charles Blow and his mother are two individuals who broke free from the gender norms set by society.
Charles Blow was a man physically, but mentally and emotionally, his behavior and actions did not match with the societal expectations for men. One of the moments where Charles did not fit into societal norms can be seen when he was at a basketball game. He ran to his mother after seeing her, but it was in a way that boys would not usually run in. He was scolded by his mother for improperly running because it was not “normal” for young boys to be seen running in that way. As he grew up, his fear of being criticized by others grew as well, and as a result of this fear, he developed a different persona of himself where he tried to appear more masculine to others. He even joined the basketball team to display his athleticism to other classmates. In another case, when he was in college, he joined a fraternity to show that he was just as tough as everyone else. Even though, Charles put up this front of himself being the tough guy society wants him to be, on the inside he was a sensitive guy. He let society define him for much of his life till later on he decided to embrace who he was.
Blow’s mother also broke free from societal norms by showing that women are capable of being independent from men and capable of obtaining a high education for themselves. His parent’s relationship was a rocky one because a lot has happened between his mother and father. In the beginning, her mother stayed with her father because he was the provider financially for the family and because he was someone who was there for her. Then, it came to a point where she decided to break free from him because of his unfaithful actions towards their marriage. She decided that she deserved better than the way her husband was treating her, and so she left him. Blow’s mother divorced Blow’s father and took on the role of becoming the sole provider for her family all on her own. Most women during the time would not opt to divorce their husbands over issues of fidelity because having to care for your whole family is quite a burden for a single mom to handle. Society would disapprove of divorce and it was not common for moms to be single and solely taking on the role to care for her family. Blow’s mother being a female was expected to be submissive to her husband but instead she decided that her pride and family was more important and so, she broke free.
As a female, we are viewed as more sensitive and weaker than males in society. I would say I am a pretty tough female both physically and emotionally. I am expected to behave in a certain way because I am a female and when I do not I am viewed as “weird”. Gender has not directly impacted my life in such a negative way. There were times when I was younger, where some boys would think that because I was a female I could not do things the boys could do. I could easily play the sports they played if I really wanted to. Being a female would not stop me from trying to achieve something that deemed only suitable for men. Because I am a girl, I think society views us to be more submissive to men, but in my case that is not true. I am my own independent person and I chose to have a voice and speak out when necessary. I feel gender roles should not define who you are.