On October 21st, the first year reading author and New York Times columnist, Charles Blow, the author of his memoir Fire Shut Up in My Bones, came to our school to give us a special lecture. It was quite difficult to hear what Mr. Blow was speaking about because the microphone was not loud enough, but I was still able to comprehend some of the things he talked about in his speech. He spoke about many things that he had enclosed in his memoir about his life. Hearing him talk about his story in real life, in that arena, really left an impact on me. It was more intense hearing him read lines from his book himself than when I just simply read the book myself. His memoir was filled with his early childhood and the struggles he faced back in the day due to stereotypes that were bestowed on society. Having him read his memoir aloud to the audience gave a deeper insight into his lie by emphasizing the difficulties he had to face when he was younger.
One thing from his talk that impacted me in some way was the fact that he was brave enough to share his story to the world. He said something along the lines of to not let anything stop you from doing what you want in life. This statement stuck out to me because he was someone who was able to overcome the numerous stereotypes and struggles he faced. He eventually did not let those people stop him from doing what he wanted in life. Sometimes I feel like I have to abide to societal norms by following what is expected from me, but Charles Blow did not. I want the power in myself to be courageous to overcome the fears and struggles I faced and come out strong and happy with my life.
If I could spend ten minutes with Charles Blow, I would ask him about why he chose to keep his secrets and struggles to himself for so long. He had to struggle and deal with his problems all alone but he could have reached out for help from his loved ones. He spent a huge part of his life carrying the secret of his abuse from his family and friends and although he had thought it was his fault at one point, he never turned to seek help. I am curious as to why he chose to do that. As a child, are we taught to tell our parents about bad things that happen to us when we are young, so I want to know his reason for not telling anyone what happened until much later on in his life. I want to also ask him what finally lead to him revealing this struggle of his life. He wrote a book about his life and I am curious as to how he was able to decide to write about his life in this way. It takes a lot of courage to do something like this despite the struggles he faced. I want to ask if he felt some sort of relief through writing his life story down or if he just felt like this was something he needed to do for himself. Overall, the speech he gave was very insightful into his life and helped bring the audience more connected into his memoir.

I chose to attend the ASTC Workshop on study skills for my plan event. I chose to attend this event because I thought it could give advice me on better ways to study for my future exams. At the event, the woman holding the event provided us with a lot of useful information to help us succeed in study effectively. She began the event with a power point that introduced to us different types of learning styles people may have.

Some could be tactile/kinesthetic learners, which means that you are someone who needs to touch, handle, and manipulate objects and materials while studying and learning. These people may talk with their hands or be good at drawing designs and are good at sports. For tactile/kinesthetic learners I learned that for them learning styles could include using bright colors to highlight while reading works or make studying more physical by standing at their desk while work or possible pacing while memorizing things. Another type of learner is the visual learner. They may think in pictures and learn best from visual displays. A learning style for them would include making charts, graphs in your notes in order to comprehend what you are studying or watch lectures and videos of the topics in order to retain the information when studying. The third kind of learner is the auditory type. These people interpret underlying meanings of speech through listening to the tone of voice and prefer directions to be given orally. Learning styles that work for them include reading textbooks outloud, using a tape recorder and reciting material repeatedly in order to retain the information. For me, I am a mix of an auditory and visual learner. I learned that I was classified as this type of learner through this survey that was provided during the event.

As an auditory and visual learner, I can adapt the skill to write things over and over in order to retain the information I am trying to learn and create charts and pictures in order to remember visually what things look like. There are also many other types of learning styles that I can use in order to maximize my success. By improving my studying skills, I can ensure that I will get better grades on my exams. I can try different methods to see which method of studying works for me and it can reveal what strengths I have in recollecting information. With hard work, I can be successful and therefore achieve my goals of passing all my classes with A’s. I can also find out what my limitations are. I feel like for myself I need to study for shorter periods of times over several days in order to comprehend what I am studying. If I were to study for long periods of time over a short number of days, then I may not be able to remember everything that I want to because I’m cramming the information into my brain. This can be considered a limitation for me. I also know that I am the type of person who needs a quiet environment in order to get into the studying zone, which is where I just put myself in a place of focus in order to remember things. At this event, I also learned how to be more planful. Now that I am more aware of the skills I should be applying to when I study, I will make sure to complete those tasks in order to have a more successful study session. I can set myself goals of what I want to achieve every time I study and make sure to meet those goals. By being aware, you know what you have to do and you will strive to complete the task at hand. This event was certainly helpful in many ways and I am grateful for attending it because I got good advice from going.

I went to the expand event Redefinition that took place recently in the Langmuir lounge. I chose this event because I was curious as to what would happen in this event because it seemed very interesting. When I was browsing through the list of events, not much was said about the event itself. The title of the event seemed very captivating and the short description of the event stated that we could learn how to redefine ourselves and so I thought I should just attend the event to check out the event.

At the event, I was not sure what to expect because not much was said about the event itself. As we got in, we were in a group of six people and the couches we were sitting on were placed in a circle so we were facing each other. In the beginning, they showed us a video that lasted about five minutes long about a man’s story that involved him being in a difficult situation and how when word got out about his childhood, he was bullied and picked on by other kids in his school. The video continued on showing how many people are affected by the words and actions of others. It was a very emotional and powerful video that left an impact on me. After the video, we engaged in multiple activities. One activity involved writing words that have left an impression on you, whether it was stereotypically said towards you or words that you have heard that are negative. The next activity that followed was titled “If you really knew me…” This one was a particularly emotional one because some people shared things about themselves that were very personal and surprising to me. The last activity we did together was my personal favorite. We each had the chance to throw a balloon filled with paint on a white sheet that covered the stereotypical words we have heard in our past. By throwing that balloon onto the white canvas, we are redefining ourselves by declaring that this is time for change to happen.

One thing I learned through this event that I did not know before was that everyone has their own problems that they are struggling with and everyone should be considerate and kind to one another because people can be really affected by other people’s words and actions. People do not realize the affect their actions could have on other people and they do things without taking into consideration the feelings of other people. One word is all it takes for it to leave a huge effect on someone’s life and so we should all watch what we say to other people. This event expanded my understanding of the event topic because it was all about redefining ourselves. The event showed that you should not let words define you. You define yourself through your choices and actions, not have yourself be defined by the actions of others. You have the choice to refine yourself whether it be academically, mentally or physically. You should not let others have this control over you through their actions; you can break free and overcome these problems and become a better person in the end. This particular event fits into my academic journey because as I continue my years at Stony Brook I must learn to redefine myself to fit the changes I will encounter. As the years go by, the classes will get even tougher and I have to change certain things in my life in order to become effective in school. I cannot let words and actions of others bring me down where I can no longer have the motivation to achieve for success in school. I have to redefine myself to overcome these challenges that I can potentially face in the future.

A tough experience I went through recently involved my two friends. One day I go over to my friend’s house because they wanted to hang out but I come inside to a huge argument being held in the living room. I hear Faith yelling about how Lindsey had went out on a date with Faith’s ex-boyfriend. Lindsey did not think to mention to Faith that she was currently seeing her ex because she felt it was not that important of a thing to mention. Faith on the other hand felt so betrayed by Lindsey due to her actions. She felt that her friendship with Lindsey did not mean anything to Lindsey because she kept this secret relationship from her. I did not know at that moment what I should do in this situation. I was frozen because I did not expect my friends to be arguing with each other as I entered into the house. The argument was elevating so I was mentally debating whether I should step in to stop this fight from getting any worse or just let it play out.
I decided to intervene by stepping in the middle of the two and shouted “HEY” as loud as I could since their fight was getting very heated that they did not even hear me enter. They both quieted down in that moment and turned to look at me. They tried to drag me into their argument but I was not about to be forced to take sides in this situation. I told them to take a sit and explain their sides of the story to me. I was going to act as the peacemaker in this situation. Faith was telling me about how hurt and betrayed she felt because Lindsey had started seeing her old boyfriend without asking if Faith was okay with the relationship in the first place. Lindsey did not think that it was that big of a situation where she would need to ask for permission to date someone. After hearing both sides of the story, I gave my thoughts about the problem at hand. I told them that Lindsey was slightly at fault because since she was best friends with Faith, she should have mentioned something to Faith instead of having Faith find out weeks later that she was dating her ex. It is just something you would tell your best friend. Also, Faith was acting a little overboard because her and her ex were long over so she should not be making such a great fuss over this situation. I told them that this was not something that was worth breaking up a friendship for.
After I voiced my opinions, the both of them seemed to calm down from their intense argument and thought over about what had happened. They realized that this was not something to end their friendship over so they settled things between them. Faith realized she cannot control who her friend dates and should just let her free to date whoever even if it is her old boyfriend. Lindsey realized that she was wrong to not have talked to Faith first about her relationship. It would have been the right thing to do. They grasped their argument was not meant to be blown into proportions and made up. Their friendship now was better after the issue was resolved. I would make the same choice I made last time because I do not want two of my closest friends to be in a fight because it puts a strain on everything. Having to choose sides is the worst thing for me. It is better to have the problem fixed than to have them continue being in a fight with each other. I know that it is better to have peace than hatred which is why I felt the need to fix things between them.