I took this time to make modifications on my research paper. Some comments that Professor Seri made on my paper was that my essay focused more on the misrepresentation of black people in media rather than just a lack of representation. Another comment was that some of my paragraphs were lengthy which made them a little tedious to read and often unclear. I went back and split up lengthy paragraphs and then added to some of them so the transition would be smoother. I also edited the introduction to talk more about misrepresentation and then also made the appropriate changes to the thesis. There was one idea where it talks about black male superheroes that was incomplete because I didn’t explain the difference between a black superhero and white superhero. I went back to my source and added additional ideas to make it clearer. I also went back and fixed up some grammar problems as well as in-text citations.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/17tv–Sfts2kbhUmDv54KHeXFX_Lv11H7RTsIlUpUD5Q/edit

I thought this essay was very well done. Right off the bat one can tell that the essay is very organized. The introduction was well written but not excessively long. It contained just the right amount of background information regarding popular media outlets and their connection to how body image is portrayed and how it leads to distorted beauty ideals. The format of the essay followed the thesis exactly. The thesis went as followed: “Social media and mass media create an unrealistic portrayal of the ideal human body for both men and women, which leads to the use of unhealthy means to achieve these standards.” The first main paragraph explored the “ideal” female body type portrayed in media, and how its idealization exploits young women. It also explores the psychology behind wanting to attain these unattainable bodies. The second main paragraph explores similar topics, but focusing on men. It explores the hypermasculinity men are pressured to convey and also shows the feminization of eating disorders among men. The third paragraph then delves deeper into the actual consequences and goes more into depth about the eating disorders. The fourth paragraph then displays how prominent social media is in our lives and how it’s virtually impossible not to see these detrimental images on a daily basis. The author also uses appositive very well. He/she establishes ethos in a very smart manner. For example, the author quotes a woman named Kasey L. Serdar who is a “psychologist who specializes in body image concerns and eating disorders.” This information helps establish a credible source because Sedar’s background pertains to the topic the author is writing about, which is body image. I wouldn’t recommend any changes besides introducing the fourth main paragraph in the thesis, the one about how difficult it is to not be influenced by media. Other than that, it was a very good essay.

The artifact I chose to do my analysis on was a tweet that I retweeted on Twitter. It’s an article about the Parkland shooter, Nicholas Cruz, and how infamous “serial killer groupies” are sending him money, letters and explicit photos of themselves. After reading the article, I was thoroughly disgusted and shocked. Almost all of the $800 in Cruz’s commissary was sent to him by fans. He was also sent a disturbing letter from an 18-year-old girl who said she was attracted to him and sent nine suggestive photos from an unknown woman. This reminded me a lot of Charles Manson’s groupies who would send the killer letters while he was in prison. I retweeted it in hopes that my followers would see and react as I did. I use Twitter more often than any other social media because it’s where I can reach the broadest audience. It’s also the platform where I have the most “followers” so it’s logical that I would reach more people through it. The post is actually a link to a Washington Post article with a text description of what it’s about. The person who posted the tweet, DeRay McKesson, is a social activist, so his twitter profile has a lot of articles about social and political issues going on in America. He is known for his activism specifically on this platform and was actually arrested after he participated in a protest in Baton Rogue after the shooting of Alton Sterling, an unarmed black man. This tweet warranted posting in the first place because serial killer groupies are a phenomena that have been around since the popularization of such serial killers such as Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, and Jeffrey Dahmer. It is also socially relevant as the Parkland shooting occurred in February of this year, 2018. When I retweeted this particular post, I didn’t have a specific group of people in mind that I didn’t want to see the post. In retrospect, I guess I wouldn’t want the dubbed “serial killer groupies” to see this as they portray them in the article as disturbing and wrong. I guess younger people would also be an audience I wouldn’t want reading this as there are explicit mentions of inappropriate behavior.

Link to article : https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2018/03/28/the-parkland-shooter-has-fans-and-theyre-sending-him-letters-and-money/?utm_term=.fb1a131a3a0c